About 10 years ago, I met this guy, a foreigner from another continent, who had just arrived in Malaysia to pursue a post-graduate degree here. One day over breakfast, he asked me this question: Friend: Hey Simon, I’ve been reading your local newspapers recently, and there’s a few words I don’t understand. Me: Don’t read the Malay papers or Chinese papers of you don’t understand la. Friend: No, no. It was the English papers. Me: Really? Were they swear words? Friend: I don’t think so. Me: What words? Friend: One of them I keep reading in the front few pages everyday. I think it’s some national concept or something. ‘Kelantan’.…

Harlo, This is Carpal Tunnel. I am a fehmes lawyer, you donno me aa? Today I am guest-blogging for Simon, that guy never pass high school, so he kenot tok about law. Because today, I am going to talk about my latest high profile case. Very de big, even people is Sing-ah-pok and USA also following. Bigger than the Anwar case, bigger than Microsop anti-trust case. I am representing my client Mr. Rojaks. Please read the story here hor. He is a nice family man, a bit lengchai, but he has been threatened to be sued by anoder rich blogger. Now please, hear the story of my venerable client before…

Short post today, not in the mood for histrionics. I was in KLCC last week, I wanted to go to one of the particular shops. But guess what, it was closed. There was a paper note stuck to the roller shutter. According to them, they were closed due to power failure, until further notice. Then I remembered reading about a fire at one of the exits to the cinema in KLCC, and the power failure was due to a fire during the Hari Raya week. I noticed it wasn’t that one shop only, all the shops in the new wing were closed. Wow, I thought. That’s a lot of potential…

In case you haven’t been looking, blog wars are all the fad again these few days, at least. You don’t need the links here, but PPS regulars will know about it. But this is one of the funniest post on the topic! Ah well, it’s the only one that was meant to be funny, the others were like, you know, in a blog war. Anyway, Eyeris, Coffee Bean is t3h pwn! SanFran Coffee is not! (Muahahahahar…!) And another thing: What’s up with Dawn Yang in the news? Generating lots of heat (as they say in pro wrestling) over here, even if she’s not Malaysian. Well, she seems a nice person…

I visited this site some months back, and would encourage you to visit it and donate or help out if you can. National Cancer Society of Malaysia In short: How can you help? Wear a wristband to show your support. The CELEBRATELIFE sexy wristband can obtained from NCSM’s office, Starbucks (nationwide) or from pledged supporters. There’s even a competition to win a trip for two to Europe. Click here. Pledge a donation. Click here. Volunteer your time to help in many different ways. Click here.

OK, I’ll admit it was harsh and unfair of me to mention the school name, no malice intended. If I were an ex-student, I would have a right to be offended. Point taken, post deleted. Apologies to anyone who offended.

Mummy: What are you doing, watching MTV again? Mei-Mei: Yaa-aah… (sitting down like a vegetable in front of the TV, drool streaking down the chin) Mummy: I told you! No MTV during weekdays! And weekends! Mei-Mei: But…but…but… Mummy: But-but-but what! But my head, ah! Turn off the TV! Go and study! Mei-Mei: Aiyoh, Mummy… exam over already la, now going to school holidays-lah, Mummy… Mummy: Eh, you don’t be so big-mouth, ah? I ask you to go and turn off the TV, you better listen to me ah? Holidays mean no need to study meh? Mei-Mei: Study what? Study the TV guide aa? Mummy: Blardyhew! You don’t talk like that…

Other Person: Wah, my friend. Long time no see ah? Simon: No, not really. I saw you last week at the shopping centre ma. I saw you with this girl, you pretend not to see me only ma. Other Person: No lah, where got. The last time I saw you was probably in college long time ago la. Simon: I’m very sure it was you la. You were trying to impress this girl, talking in your fake Australian accent some more, right or not? Other Person: Eh, dun say like that. I where got girlfriend. I ten years never see already, wah you put on a lot of weight la.…

My wife watches it. Your girlfriend watches it. Your colleagues gossip about it at lunch hour. Even your kid sister fights the remote with you to watch it. It’s that scourge of local/cable TV known as “Hong Kong TV serials”. How to Tell If Your Girlfriend is Watches Too Many Hong Kong Serials… She changed her name from Jessica to some la-la name like Candy, Mimi or Flora. She can remember the exact dialogue of a particular scene of the TVB serial ‘Healing Hands’ shown on Astro 3 years ago featuring her favourite actor, but she can’t remember your apartment number. She has Dynasty Package and Emperor Package on her…

I watched Sepet on TV last week (first day of Raya), it was the first time I watched it in it entirety. I know, I know, everyone has watched it when it was released it the cinema, but let’s face, this blog is never up to date in anything. For the benefit of non-Malaysians, or those who have never heard of this locally produced movie, it’s a very simple love story between a Chinese boy and a Malay girl in Ipoh. They were classmates in primary school, and meet again after years later. The guy (Jason) was a bleached blond pirated VCD seller (so typical…) and the girl (Orkid? Orked?)…