simontalks.com

“Like That Also Can Ah?!!”

How To Enter Malaysian University: Another Fictional Story

Published by simon on November 10, 2005

Mummy: What are you doing, watching MTV again?

Mei-Mei: Yaa-aah… (sitting down like a vegetable in front of the TV, drool streaking down the chin)

Mummy: I told you! No MTV during weekdays! And weekends!

Mei-Mei: But…but…but…

Mummy: But-but-but what! But my head, ah! Turn off the TV! Go and study!

Mei-Mei: Aiyoh, Mummy… exam over already la, now going to school holidays-lah, Mummy…

Mummy: Eh, you don’t be so big-mouth, ah? I ask you to go and turn off the TV, you better listen to me ah? Holidays mean no need to study meh?

Mei-Mei: Study what? Study the TV guide aa?

Mummy: Blardyhew! You don’t talk like that to your mother aa? You don’t study hard, how to get into local university?

Mei-Mei: Mummy, now local university ‘jatuh’ (drop) standard already, the paper got say ma… UM and USM now quite low ranking already.

Mummy: You don’t talk rubbish la! UM is world class one man! When I was small, all the smart students go there one la… what ‘jatuh’ standard… rubbish.

Mei-Mei: You dun believe me, you read the paper lor.

Mummy: Paper say must believe meh? Paper put 4 digit you go and buy or not?! Anyway Malaysia don’t have two university only one you know. UM and USM cannot still got UUM-lah, UPM-lah, UKM-lah…

Mei-Mei: Eeeyer… dowan to go tat kind of university la… all my friends going to private college, some more my best friend going oversea, I also want to go…

Mummy: Go Oversea Restaurant also cannot afford, you want to go overseas aa? Dream la! Study dowan, do homework dowan, everyday watch TV and play only! When I was your age, I wake up at 6am and walk to school you know!

Mei-Mei: Eleh, Kong-kong (grandfather) say you live next to the school only ma!

Mummy: Don’t try to be smart OK?! Turn off the TV and GO AND STUDY! I WANT YOU TO GO TO UNIVERSITY!!!

Mei-Mei: But…but…but…

Mummy: BUT WHAT?!!

Mei-Mei: But I’m only in Primary Two…!

For another post on the subject, check out this one by Simon:
SPM A1 Record: A Fictional Story

Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • bodytext
  • del.icio.us
  • Furl
  • Reddit
  • Slashdot
  • StumbleUpon
  • No Related Post
Posted under Uncategorized
Comments (15)
  1. Kiasi Said,

    If fail, nevermind. Get enrol in the Lame Cock Wane University :P

  2. mudslinger Said,

    simon, you’re good at this!
    so i assume ‘normal english’ will resume sometime next week?
    :)

  3. belacans Said,

    woi, this one can put up in The Star ler :P

  4. eSSeNtRiC Said,

    And then u can do a sequel to this, kid submits application to local U, gets rejected, and database is “sold” to private Us and colleges, and these kids get letter of offer by the privates one.. LoL.

  5. cynical-idealist Said,

    Hahahaha! Good one! But somehow this sounds so familiar it’s creepy…

  6. Din Said,

    Mummy needs a bitch slap.

  7. simon Said,

    kiasi - is that in Hong kong? ;)

    mudslinger - maybe. see my mood lar.

    belacans - star i dun think so, maybe malay mail can lar!

    essentric - interesting idea… possible…

    cynical-idealist - there are hundred of mummies like this one out there, scary huh? :)

    din - muahahaha… din will bitch slap her…

  8. lockee Said,

    gals no need so lajin la… get a MBA Loh Kong enuf lo… then day day sit at home be a siu nai nai… good life lo!!

  9. anjali* Said,

    What has happened to you, Mr Simon? New dialogue format ah? No more Top 10 ah? Got missed me ah. Heh :)

  10. lilian Said,

    Now I know what to tell my sons next time.

    Go Oversea Restaurant also cannot afford, you want to go overseas aa? Dream la! Study dowan, do homework dowan, everyday watch TV and play only!

  11. Zer0 Said,

    Wahahhaa.. Funny man!. Only in primary 2

  12. lucia Said,

    parents nowadays start them young lah.

  13. cyber-red Said,

    *psychos herself* don’t turn into her mum, don’t turn into her mum..

  14. Pat Said,

    TAR College is the way to go, I find their grads hardworking and professional.

    No, I’m not from there lah, just an observation from doing hundreds of recruitment interviews for my ex-company a few years ago.

    I interviewed one guy from UM, he had a first class degree in Comp Science and was damn action - “I won’t accept an offer of less than RM 2500″. Why does he think he deserves that just because he had a first from UM? He was not that impressive during the interview, and I’ve met diploma holders who are better than him.

  15. simon Said,

    lockee - that want not easy to find, leh. :)

    anjali - not really la. top 10 still got, just remember some of my older posts, doing some continuation, sort of…

    lilian - you know what? I’ve actually heard ppl say that!

    Zer0 - :)

    lucia - hah. Some people send their kids to tuition BEFORE they start school these days. So competitive.

    cyber-red - LOL!

    patrick - if i were you i would have shown that guy the door immediately.

Add A Comment