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Top Ten Signs Your Boyfriend is Actually Psychopath Murderer

October 24, 2005

These days there are too many nutjobs and gila people out there, so it’s always good to be extra cautious. You never know your best friend or boyfriend, who is always so mild mannered, soft spoken, drinks Cherry Coke can be a secret maniacal serial murderer…

Top Ten Signs Your Boyfriend is Actually Psychopath Murderer

  • He watches House, Medical Investigation, CSI, CSI:Miami, CSI:Bukit Lanjan religiously every week. And takes notes.

  • Every morning at 4a.m. he has to stand out in the cornfields for two hours “to communicate with the mothership”.

  • His dog is named Charlie Manson.

  • He eats meat curry everyday. Chicken meat curry, mutton curry, beef curry, exotic meat curry, you get the picture. (Wait, a minute, how ‘exotic’ is ‘exotic’…?)

  • He has a king-sized freezer in his basement. And it’s not for beer either.

  • He buys laboratory supplies like formaldehyde, chloroform, rubber gloves and scalpels by the boxes.

  • Everything he chops chicken meat for dinner, he screams, “Die, you piece of meat, DIE! MUAHAHAHAHAR! ”

  • There are so many of knives, cleavers and swords in his closet that it his house actually attracts lightning during thunderstorms.

  • At every meal time, he’ll say, “your cooking is to die for”.

  • He is a active voting, card-carrying member of the Malaysian Society of Psychopathic Murderers and Sociopaths, or MASOPAMS.

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