Budget speech is usually quite dreary and long. Especially the first half an hour when they talk about general economic conditions in the country. Most people get bored even before they reach the important bits. Here’s a few ‘suggestions‘ to make it livelier and draw in more people to watch. Wouldn’t you love for them to implement it? Top Ten Suggestions To Make The Annual Budget More Exciting In between the speech, they should tell some jokes to liven up the proceeding. SMS voting by the Malaysian public to support or oppose the announcements in the budget. Before, starting the budget speech, maybe the speaker can exchange humourous pantuns (Malay…

The budget is coming. It’s going to be on this Friday, just before Ramadhan. Lot’s of people are making their wishlists, so I’m doing mine. But don’t expect mine to come true anytime. Simon’s Top Ten Wish Items for the Malaysian Budget 2006 Tax break for bloggers. RM4000 rebate per year, since we are the true voice of rakyat. Paying ang pow for Chinese weddings is tax-deductible (Official receipt must be issued by wedding couple). Seriously, being invited to too many weddings can be a financial disaster! Reduce excise duties on imported cars. Like I said, don’t bet on this wish item being fulfilled. Increase road tax for taxis. I…

Americans have their 4 major sports – baseball, basketball, American football and ice hockey. Why is it called ‘football’ when they their hands all the time? Except when they punt. It should be called ‘handball’. Oh, OK, then American Handball. OK, scratch that. The English have their cricket (the poncy game, not the small insect), rugby, football (“soccer”) and beer-guzzling. The Australians have their Aussie-rules footie. And swimming. The Canadians have their lacrosse. So my question is, what sport do Malaysians have? Other than queue-jumping and marathon mamak-hopping. Not tennis, not golf. Those are ‘mat salleh’ (white man) games. Golf is from Scotland and tennis from Sharapova-land (Hubba-hubba-hubba!) And watching…

So, finally, both Malaysian Idol and AF3 are finally over. Its safe to turn on the telly again. Top Ten Career Prospects for Malaysian Idol and Akademi Fantasia Losers Backup singer for next year’s Malaysian Idol / Akademi Fantasia contest. Perform at the Hotel New Kowloon, Klang next year during the Secretaries’ Day Luncheon. DJ at the local Warta/Fajar/Bintang/Daya supermarket. “Tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, selamat datang ke pesta dangdut ‘Hai Alahai’ Felda Bukit Tunggal, bersama penyanyi undangan kami, Farah AF3!” Extras in those Hotlink advertisements on TV where young people are hanging out in Starbucks making video-conferencing calls. Write and promote your own book – “Dummies Guide to Being a Failed…

The other day I got a called from this sales girl with a thick Cantonese accent, “Hello, who that aa?” Whoa, her England not so good aa? Usually, anytime I get calls like this, I’ll give them a super hard time just for interrupting my day. But that day, I was in quite a good mood, so I cut her some slack. So I replied: “Who do you want to speak to?!” “Is that Shimu?” (No, I’m sorry, Shimu just stepped outside for a fag) What the…? Did she mistake me for some manga character?! Shimu the evil twin brother of Garaa who returned to the land of Eternal Twilight…

So the whole mooncake thing is now over. I wonder if all those shopping centres and restaurants had a last minute 50% off clearance sale late Sunday night to get rid of the remaining mooncakes? Just like the traffic summons. I used to do that some years back, wait for the last minute to take advantage of the everything-must-go sale. Nowadays, the delicacy is becoming more and more expensive. And the other thing that struck me was the mooncake ‘season’ is getting earlier and earlier. It used to be 2 weeks before the actual date, now those posh restaurants start selling more than 2 MONTHS before the festival. I kid…

My friend was on the KLIA Express the other day, coming back from the airport to KL Sentral. The train was packed at mid-morning, something was unusual. My pal and his traveling companion managed to get a seat. Even though the train was already filling up, but the train didn’t budge. After awhile, my pal found out the reason. The 10 millionth monorail passenger was somewhere on the train. I’ve been hearing about this on the radio. Apparently the winner will win free airplane tickets to New York or something. So these officials came on and got everyone’s details. They even too a mugshot of everyone holding up their names…

Whenever I hear news that someone had just got a baby, I’ll always ask “blue or pink?” Most people would just go, “Huh?” Parents, however would get my meaning and would either answer one or the other. If you STILL don’t get it, PINK = GIRL (easy to remember. You know that pop singer Pink?) BLUE = BOY (ditto for that boy band called ‘Blue’) Actually, the real reason is the colour of blankets and baby swaddling clothes they use in hospital. How this convention came about is a great mystery to me. Like a 2-hour-old baby is going to know what colour he or she is wearing. “Nurse! Nurse!…

Looks like I have to do an obligatory post on Malaysian Idol 2. I haven’t really watch it at all, except for a few episodes here and there. The timing of the show doesn’t fit my schedule really, me having to meet with my parole officer and all. But I did watch latest results episode where Farah was voted out paving the way for Daniel and Nita to enter the last spectacular concert at the Arena of the Stars. Well, between the two, Nita’s definitely the better singer, but I’ve seen some really poor performances from her. Daniel’s the smiley cute guy that gets all the girls’ votes. He looks…

Who doesn’t? The two look-alike dreadlocked German male model singers were caught in an international controversy and humiliation when they were exposed by the media for lip-synching their way to a Grammy (Best New Artiste) and three American Music Awards (Best Fake Singers, Best Artiste Most Likely to be Models, Artistes Having Most Influence on NKOTB) They released two albums with some sweety dancey songs like “Baby, Don’t Forget My Number“, “Girl You Know It’s True“, “Look Ma, I Can Lip-Synch” and “But, Hey, Our Listeners Are Pretty Dumb“. I remember my best bud Vicky is really into them back in school. He would listen to his cassette over and…