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Top Ten Things You WON’T Hear in the Next Episode of Desperate Housewives

August 17, 2005

Top Ten Things You WON’T Hear in the Next Episode of Desperate Housewives by Simon (who auditioned and almost got the part of Edie…)

  • “What kind of magic grass is this? It grows so fast I need to mow it EVERYDAY!”

  • “I knew it!!! Dana is actually Dana Sculley! And look, here comes Fox Mulder! Woo-hoo!”

  • “Sarah, let me be frank with you. I’ve actually been lying to you all this while. I’ve not really a plumber… I’m a top fashion designer for Salvatore Ferragamo, and I am SO gay. And darling, you SO need to make-over your wardrobe…”

  • “You know what, Sarah? Sometimes I feel we are just four soap opera actresses in a fake TV series…”

  • “Did you hear about the news, mom? They are changing the name of Wisteria Lane to Jalan V. David!”

  • “Mom, we know that you have been popping these ADHD pills due to stress and exhaustion. We’re here to help you stop and get your life together again. Belia Benci DADAH!”

  • “Good morning, ma’am. Would you be interested to see our new Amway products?”

  • Teeet-teeet-teeet! “Old newspapers! Old newspapers!” Teeet-teeet-teeet!

  • “What? Mike, how come you never told me you’re married? So you stay at home everyday because your wife is working all the time? So you’re a house-husband… and that makes you a Desperate Househusband…!”

  • “No, Mrs. Solis, I can’t have sex with you today. I’m late for my Bible study.”

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