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Top Ten Things I Learnt Watching Desperate Housewives

Published by simon on August 17, 2005

Top Ten Things I Learnt Watching Desperate Housewives by Simon (who has nothing else to watch on Tuesday nights…

  • In America, every woman in the neighbourhood looks like a million bucks. Except ONE lady who’s a nosy busybody, who looks like your normal makcik.

  • If you’re only 5’6” tall, you still can be a ‘top model in Europe a few years ago’.

  • American municipal councils keep their streets spick and span, with not even a dried leaf in sight. Cleaner than Damansara Heights just before the Prime Minister visits.

  • Even if your neighbour suddenly committed suicide, you can still hear her voice in the background every day. Even in your own house.

  • American children are either dorky teenagers with attitude problems or small bratty kids that don’t stop screaming.

  • There are no blacks (or Asian Americans) in upper middle class America. Hispanics, yes. But no blacks.

  • The women don’t seem to have a steady job but can afford to buy big cars, a beautiful house with a perfectly manicured lawn, and designer furniture.

  • American homes have no fences (not counting the picket fences). Unlike the ‘fortresses’ here in Malaysia.

  • Most houses in America are painted white. I have no idea why.

  • You can be the ONLY guy in the house the whole day EVERY DAY, and having an affair with the mistress of the house, but her businessman husband will suspect everyone else EXCEPT you.
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    Comments (24)
    1. Jason Said,

      I like this one :

      American homes have no fences (not counting the picket fences). Unlike the ‘fortresses’ here in Malaysia.

    2. Shan Said,

      LOL! Yup yup all true - and am still hooked to it! Like addict, like. Hiyah!

    3. nicktay Said,

      There are no blacks (or Asian Americans) in upper middle class America. Hispanics, yes. But no blacks.

    4. anjali* Said,

      1. FYI, the blacks will move in soon in the form of Oprah Winfrey and spoof hubby. But only for one day.

      2. The plumber can look like a Playgirl model with six-packs called abs. Here, you get a ugly looking Chin Chong with one big beach ball called Stomach, holding a six-packs called beer.

      3. Your gardener is equally good-looking physique with manicured nails and willing to do additional task FOC (and you are ever so willing to help him to achieve peak performance). Here, you get dark, dirty Indons giving you the dirty looks and mouse-calls.

      Regardless, we’re still suckers for soaps.

      :-)

    5. mahagurusia Said,

      We dont get 8tv here hence no house wives clevages to look at! but my tv box is still constantly hogged by family members watching, what else but sembilu. The longest pain in the hind Malaysian soapy. Great series but I gave up one year ago. When will it ever end??

    6. lilian Said,

      Know where I can get some ADHD drugs?

    7. mudslinger Said,

      and they all have nice postboxes that you can look into (or out of, depending on camera angle)

      and even on their ‘bad looking’ days, they still look better than the housewives here who wear kaftans all day

    8. MengZ Said,

      i tot i am the only one who watch desperate housewife.
      i got nothign to do yesterday oso.

      the house wife even drive aston martin ler…KNN

    9. shopping mum Said,

      I’m one big fan.
      BTW, only Wisteria Lane has handsome gardener mowing the lawn, here we’ve old uncles…

    10. Eliar Swiftfire Said,

      anjali*:

      **MILD SPOILERS REGARDING THAT PLUMBER**

      That’s because he’s not exactly a true plumber, thus he looks like a Playgirl model.

    11. simon Said,

      jason - the richer we are, the higher & thicker the fence.

      shan - seems like lots of closet fans!

      nick tay - eh?

      anjali - do a list on your blog la! i’m sure its gonna be funny!

      mahagurusia - sembilu? isn’t that a movie?

      ADHD - i can get cheap online drugs for you, just send me your credit card number.

      mudslinger - what’s a kaftan?

      mengz - normal family also got convertible, fur coat, etc…

      shopping mum - my place we get a tired indian guy who goes round asking, “mau potong rumput aa?”

      eliar swiftfire - he’s NOT a plumber? So he’s been lying to Sarah all this while?! The plot thickens…

    12. Reta Said,

      simon, i love the part when u said u could hear the dead neighbour’s voice in every house.. aiyoh so hilarious!

      I got d/load the series even to watch eventho i did watch it while interning at 8tv ahhahah

    13. Wingz Said,

      erm … dats why i tell maiself … those watching despo houzwife must either be too stupiak to know the truth or they are just in denial! LMAO!!! flame me flame me pulez!!!

    14. ~Jessy~ Said,

      “Even if your neighbour suddenly committed suicide, you can still hear her voice in the background every day. Even in your own house.”

      Lol…..

      “American homes have no fences (not counting the picket fences).”

      Yeah I like the no fence concept. But considering the “efficiency” of our cops here, I don’t think it will work in Malaysia.

    15. jefferi Said,

      dunnoh if malaysian want to do its own version of desperate housewives. i bet it would be interesting and funny to blog about for some period of time..

      what will it be called?

      “keempunan makcik”? it sound a bit x-rated. ha..ha… :D

    16. S-Kay Said,

      Malaysian’s version of desperate housewives? haiyoh…dun even think of it man. The viewers will flame them kau kau prolly. One would go “Eee..I tak suke pompuan tu…gedik betul..” or “OMG, did you watch last week’s episode? She’s so fat lah kan? Buruk lah..how did she get that part”

      They will only kutuk and before they can laugh or enjoy the show, the credits have all began scrolling up the screen.

      OR..you might even get Najib commenting about the show and how all housewives should follow the best housewife in the show..you know..like Mawi in AF3

    17. Jon Said,

      *spoiler*

      There will be two major black characters from next season.

    18. simon Said,

      reta - wow, 8tv let u watch new shows?

      Wingz - EVERYBODY GO AND FLAME WINGZ!!!

      ~jessy~ - i’ve actually seen a picket fence in malaysia. they built it BEHIND a chain link fence!

      jefri - ‘keempunan makcik’ or ’surirumah terdesak’? Tough decision.

      s-kay - actually i think a malaysian version would be interesting!!

      jon - really? trying to cash in on black viewers? hmmm…. interesting…

    19. mudslinger Said,

      aiyah, kaftan is that baju kelawar thing. you know the batik thingies… or spelt caftans lah..

    20. lynnee Said,

      how about “desperate husbands”? :D

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