More Obscure Movies That Did NOT Make It Here

Some of you may remember this earlier post I did. Well, since its another slow day, here’s more of the same. Some more obscure Hollywood [tag]movies[/tag] that strangely were never released here…

Hairy Potter and the Prisoner of Alcatraz – The Chewbacca-like wizard boy Hairy Potter (too much hair-growing hormones) is back for another hair-raising (no pun intended) adventure including an escaped convict, the infamous Birdman of Alcatraz, a new found love, Bak Chang, an ethnic Chinese to draw in the lucrative China market. Also Hairy battles the bad guys again, a lot of fainting like a little girl, a lot burning scar on forehead (please, its getting kind of lame now, JK). And by the way, the bad guy is still (and always will be) Voldemort, he’s got a 7-book and 7-movie deal that stems from the author’s lack of imagination to create different baddies (oh yeah, like copying Sauron is SO difficult).

Spy-cam Man 2 – The docile, dorky student Pervy Parker gets bitten by a radioactive buaya (crocodile) and gets x-ray vision. Spends most of his time gawking at girls and filming them with a secret spy-cam, then posting them up on the Net. Also fights his nemesis, the president of the Parent Teacher’s Association (PTA). Not much of a story line, but very popular with a certain segment of the viewers…

King Kong – I thought it was about my old school friend Chong King Kong. Boy, was I wrong. He didn’t even appear once.

Infernal Affairs VIII – a complicated cat-and-mouse story about a undercover cop who infiltrates the Hong Kong triads, who asks him to infiltrate back into the police force, but then later the police ask him to infiltrate the Malaysian DVD pirate syndicate, who forces him to go undercover in the Singapore postal department, where he meets this triad member who is instructed to infiltrate the deep, dark society of Multi level marketing…

Constantine – Keanu Reeves stars as a stone faced guy who can’t act, but can sing very well. Very good looking, sells out on his heavy metal band and joins and commercialized popularity contest masked as a singing contest. Heavily favoured to win, but after selling his soul to the devil, gets booted out and nice farm girl wins contest.

Pontianak Harum Sundal Malam 2 – Oh, wait, you mean this is actually a REAL movie?!