I’ve worked with lots managers over the years, some good, some bad. Some even are like that pointy-haired boss in the Dilbert comic strip. But one thing they do, they seldom say what’s on their mind. I’ve no idea why. But I’ve pretty much learnt to understand what they are really saying (to hear between the words, so to speak…).
When your boss says:
“We’re not looking for someone to blame” or “We’re not blaming you for this screw-up“…
He really means:
“Yep, I’m blaming you.”
***
When your boss says:
“The dateline can’t be negotiated…”
He really means:
“Hope you don’t have any plans on Saturday and Sunday…”
***
When your boss says:
“Let me be the devil’s advocate for a moment…”
He really means:
“Let me say what I REALLY think of your work…”
***
When your boss says:
“You must understand that in this company we have proper channels and hierachy of organization…”
He really means:
“Don’t talk to the director without consulting me first.”
***
When your boss says:
“Anything else?”
He really means:
“Discussion over, get out of my so I can get back to my Flash game.”
7 Comments
anjali*
Got this via email recently. Think it’s apt to you subject. Enjoy! 🙂
WHAT THOSE WORDS ON YEARLY PERFORMANCE REVIEWS MEAN
OUTGOING PERSONALITY – Always going out of the office
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS – Able to bullshit
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS – Spends lots of time on phone
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY – Too ugly to get a date
ACTIVE SOCIALLY – Drinks a lot
INDEPENDENT WORKER – Nobody knows what he / she does
QUICK THINKING – Offers plausible excuses
CAREFUL THINKER – Won’t make a decicion
USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS – Gets someone else to do the dirty job
EXPRESSES WELL – Speaks English
METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL – A nit picker
HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES – Is taller or has louder voice
EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT – Lucky
KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR – Knows a lot of dirty jokes
CAREER MINDED – Backstabber
LOYAL – Can’t get job elsewhere
PLANS FOR PROMOTION / ENHANCEMENT – Buys drinks for all the boys
OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANISATION – Gets to work on time
RELAXED ATTITUDE – Sleeps on job.
JC
Simon, most of bosses always think they are smarter..they always right one..what to do? no matter what, he/she still our boss. but one thing is, i dislike to work with lady boss.
here something would like to share with u…
I GOT CHARACTER….
Many people got no style one. Me, I got character.
See-ah. I don’t simply take instructions from people.
I think first lah. Don’t like it, don’t take lah.
With boss also like that. I don’t care. Sack sack lah.
I not afraid one. Then, when got no mood to work, I just go for teh tarik. Don’t like? Not my problem, what!
When boss make noise, I tell him to fly kite.
Money so little, some more got so much work. Where can? Some more got so many bosses. Big boss, small boss, woman boss. One say one thing, listen until your pengsan. You can died like that!
I tell you sometimes not fair. Client also another kind. Always last minute change this change that. Guarantee one. Make my life difficult only. Then..
Kena work until two three a.m. who can tahan like that? Something koyak in their head. I not joking.
Don’t know advertising but only talk big all the time.
Then some more when the thing tak jalan, they complain we all no good. Then who kena? Me lah! Some more who?
Inevitable
JC – agreed with you on the lady boss. sometimes they are so emotional … sigh
simon
anjali – lol, i think i need to reword my resume…!
JC & inevitable – all i can say is i empathise with you, i’ve work with a few lady bosses b4…
lilian
simon – I lagi kesian sama lu. LOL.
Add one more …..
*boss put on kesian face, give big sigh*
Well, you know, times are bad….the company’s profit is down….lately the construction sector is not doing so well……*beat more bushes until George Bush pun kena tarik masuk air*
What boss want to say : Go fly kite, there is no increment, bonus or promotion for you!
Lin Peh
Boss says: The experience you gain here is superb!
Means: The pay sucks !
simon
lilian – aiyo… almost every manager love to pull that one. it’s like its written in a manual for managers.
lin peh – “and the girls who work here have very striking personalities…!”