Uncategorized

Asking Yahoo About Donald Duck, Grimace, Winnie-the-Pooh and Yogi Bear

Yesterday was a slow day, so I tried exploring Ask Yahoo! I’ve had it installed for more than 6 years now, I really look forward to them answering a trivial question from netsurfers everyday.

****

Anyways, the question of yesterday was,

Why does Donald Duck never wear pants?

Long answer? Its some repressive anal retentive mal-adjusted childhood phobia that originated from Donald’s traumatic experience involving a stuck fly zipper and his abusive uncle Scrooge McDuck.

Short answer? Because he’s drawn that way.

****

Then I clicked on the ‘related question’ link where the question was…

What kind of creature is Grimace from McDonald’s?

Long answer? Interesting question. I’ve always wondered about the identity of this strange purple blob of sleepy eyed McToy. Is it the illegitimate offspring of a snow-woman with Barney the Purple Dinosaur? Or Shrek with Gumby the walking purple crayon? Does anyone know?

Short answer? There’s no answer. According to the people at McDonald’s, it just a creation to make us eat more Chicken McNuggets.

****

OK, fine, we’ll click on the next question..

What gender is Winnie-the-Pooh?

Long answer? Is ‘it’ male? Or female? Or neither? Does anyone really care? It has a voice of an old man, but has a name of a woman. But it has no visible genitalia. Unlike a certain crazy frog we know. And in this politically correct day and age, shouldn’t he/she change his name to Winnie-the-Sh!t?

Short answer? Male. It says so in the book. He just has a girly name.

****

Next one.

How did “Yogi Bear” get his name if he never practiced yoga?

Long answer? He DID practice yoga, but he grew tired of doing it alone in the Yellowstone National Park, so he changed to New Age Transcendal Meditation, later he switched Tai-Chi, then Calcutta Fitness BodyJamâ„¢. Last I heard, he was into Pilates with Madonna.
Short answer? He was named after American baseball star Yogi Berra. No, really.

OK, enough of asking Yahoo! for one day…

16 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *