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Haze, Haze, Go Away

If you were anywhere outdoors yesterday (afternoon onwards), you’ll notice the HAZE IS BACK.

Yesiree, bob, the HAZE is one of the four PERMANENT seasons of Malaysian weather. European countries have Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. The four seasons Malaysia experiences is Rain Like Cats & Dogs, Bloody Hot, Even Bloody Hotter and the HAZE.

You know the drill, actually. Forest fire from somewhere, coupled with strong wind brings smoke and haze here. My dad says that the logging season is over and now they’re clearing the land by burning the topsoil. Whatever.

Doctors say we need to stay indoors for health reasons. So what are we going to do? We’ll have to make the most of it, as usual. Here are some things I can think of:

  • Stare up at the orange sun and pretend you’re on Tatooine.

  • Run three laps around the field in the unhealthy air. Then tomorrow go to see your doctor for an MC.

  • Start a signature petition to the ban restaurants serving sizzling steaks – the REAL reason behind the HAZE.

  • Put up signs all along your neighbourhood that say, “What haze? You have eyesight problems! See your optometrist!”

  • Demand your boss to give you a RM20 daily allowance to buy surgical masks and mineral water.

  • Bitch about it in your blog.

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