Anyone Remember “Bercakap Dengan Jin”?

Today’s Halloween. It’s okay if you dunno anything about the occasion, I don’t either. It’s some American tradition like Thanksgiving and Superbowl Sunday. But judging from all the TV programs, its supposed to be a day originating from Samhain where kids dress up like supposedly scary costumes (You want scary? Has anyone dressed up like a barrel of toxic waste? Or a walking monitor with the Windows blue screen of death? Or George W. Bush?)

Anyway, like I said, it’s an American thing. Even as hard as those local toy stores try to hawk the merchandise to us here. But speaking of all things scary, does anyone remember the series of books called “Bercakap Dengan Jin”? It was a series of books quite popular in the 70’s and 80’s with a collection of short stories dealing with mostly Malay folklore ghosts and otherworldly creatures. You name it, they had it – jin, jembalang, syaitan, orang bunian, hantu kum-kum, pocong, orang halus, orang minyak, toyol, pontianak, puaka, the works.

Anyway, each story was usually a ‘true’ account about someone’s encounter with these ghosts, usually pregnant women or pawangs and dukuns. And they usually had these drawings depicting the horror of the victims accompanying the stories.

In my sheer boredom growing up in a Malay school, I actually did try to read a few of them, courtesy of my classmates. The stories, in retrospect, were quite mild and superficial by today’s standards, but you wouldn’t believe how many of my classmates were addicted to this stuff. Especially the girls! Some of these similar stories also appeared in other mainstream magazines and Sunday edition of papers, but “Bercakap Dengan Jin” was, at that time, the standard bearer in schlock horror.

I think the book is still around these days, sold in mamak stores together with the Mawi ringtone handbooks, URTV and Media Hiburan. I doubt I’d last a few paragraphs of it if I tried to today, it has gone the way of stuff like Gila-Gila, Mastika and Dewan Pelajar. Oh well, I suppose I could still give Gila-Gila a read…

Two Foreigners in KL During Hari Raya

Trigger - Hey, Silver. You know something? I feel a little uneasy around here. This place is a bit… spooky.

Silver – Aw, c’mon, it’s spook because it some festival going on here in Malaysia. All the good folks have disappeared off somewhere, leaving the Filipino maids, Indonesian labourers, Myanmar coffeeshop workers and other foreigners like us to rule in the city…! Yee-haw!

Trigger – Yes, but don’t you notice something? There’s no other foreigners here but us! And i don’t think the locals are all gone… I can see some of them peeking out at us from inside their homes… I think they’re very suspicious of us…

Silver - We’re not in KLCC Park, lah. This is a quieter, suburban area. And of course the locals are suspicious of us. We don’t exactly look like them, do we? We’re just two weird looking studs, that’s who we are.

Trigger – I’m just saying. Oh, look now that annoying dog is barking at us. I hate these domesticated mongrels. No dignity at all. Should I go over there show him the pecking order?

Silver – Don’t start a fight with the locals. Shut up and eat your food.

Trigger – i hate the veg here. Why on earth did we come here?

Silver – Don’t blame me, the grass always looked greener here. Besides, you shouldn’t look a gift horse in its mouth.

Trigger – Oh, look, now the cars are slowing down and there’s a guy taking our photos. Should i smile? Or prance around? Or do a trot! Yes, they love it when it act freaky…!

Silver - Quit horsing around! We’re tourists, not trick ponies, you moron!

Trigger – Giddy-up, giddy-up, Hi Ho Silver…!

Silver – Hey, STOP IT! You gonna get us sent to the TURF CLUB!!!!

(“Look, there’s that guy with the camera again!”)

(“Why do I keep thinking of ciggies each time i see a white horse?”)

(“I think we better get a move on. Some brats wanna play football…”)

(I spotted these two somewhere in suburban KL over the holidays. Must be some rich Datuk’s. I wanted to point them to the direction of KLCC, but they’re didn’t look to friendly. Damn these foreigners.)

Top Ten Things You’ll Likely See on Local TV on Hari Raya

Hari Raya is now in its third day, most folks are still on leave, there’s probably one more day of ‘Raya TV specials’ on air all day. Let’s face it, local TV during Hari Raya hasn’t changed much in the last 20 years. The stars may be younger, and the production slightly better (just slightly) but the staples are still there. Then again it’s the same with Chinese New Year and Christmas too, but anyway. At least they stopped that ‘Rasa Sayang AidilFitri’ kid’s programme in the mornings. And the corresponding ‘Rasa Sayang’ for every other holiday…

Top Ten Things You’ll Likely See on Local TV on Hari Raya

• Last year’s top grossing ‘hit‘ Malaysian movie shown as the ‘blockbuster‘ movie on the first day of Hari Raya (Generally, the word is ‘hit’ and ‘blockbuster’ is used loosely here, even by local standards).
• Some singing and song dedication programme hosted by either Azwan or Aznil. These programmes usually feature stars singing in colourful raya clothes, while doing this like making dodol, lemang, ketupat, or any other Raya-related stuff. And most of the time Aznil or Azwan will be acting like super-annoying brats with their un-funny jibes. God, they’re both like 40 years already, man, and still acting like 18-year olds.
• A slap-stick comedy featuring one or more of the actors from ‘Senario’.
• 15 minutes of our national news dedicated to showing the Hari Raya open houses hosted by our ministers. All with the multi-racial crowd lining up to shake hands with the said minister.
• Another 15 minutes of the news would feature the festive road accidents and accompanying traffic jams on the highways.
• Special ‘konsert Raya‘ at odd times in the day. Usually including special appearances by Indonesian stars.
• Million ringgit heart-warming Raya advertisement by our GLCs. I hope they didn’t increase our tariffs to keep up these ads year after year…
• More singing programs featuring one or more Akademi Fantasia ‘stars’. And / or their former girlfriends / fiancés.
• Special ‘Raya edition’ of the normal TV shows. Doesn’t matter what show it is, there must be a Raya edition for it.
• But don’t worry – the HK and Korean daily serials will still go on. Business as usual, Raya or not. I see they’re showing ‘Winter Sonata’ again.

Technorati Tags: Hari Raya, Aidilfitri, TV, Malaysia, Senario

Selamat Hari Holiday…

Selamat Hari Raya folks.

It’s been a good day, so good i had to drag myself off the couch to blog a bit. Okay, just a little.

Let me see, today i woke up at 10, went to Mid-Valley Megamall (just before the carpark became a madhouse), tried the new KFC variety bucket, came back, slept it off, lounged around just to see the heaviest storm of the year, spend 1 hour on the treadmill to work off the KFC, and am now blogging about it.

I’m going to watch some DVDs after this. God bless our fantastic public holidays.

Maaf zahir batin.

I’ve been hearing Sharifah Aini’s ‘Selamat Hari Raya‘ all day and all week. They should play M.Nasir’s ‘Satu Hari Di Hari Raya‘ more often.

Pass me the beef rendang please.

Technorati Tags: Hari Raya, Aidil Fitri, Sharifah Aini, M. Nasir, KFC, Mid-Valley

Deepavali Wishes To Some Notable Malaysians

I’d like to wish Happy Deepavali or Diwali to some notable Malaysians. I’m not sure if some of these people celebrate the Festival of Lights or not, but in the spirit of Malaysiana, I wish them well all the same.

M. Karathu – that humble unassuming Perak coach that lighted up Malaysian football all those years back.

Those guys from Alleycats – Terima kaSIH!!!!

Mr. Rajan – My old neighbour, the retired cop back in the old hometown. He has a son, but he never visits cause he’s staying overseas. My dad used to visit him on Deepavali, and they spend the whole evening complaining about how their pensions can’t pay the bills, how the assessment has increased this year… He and his wife moved away some years back, to rent a cheaper house. I’ve no idea where.

Mano Maniam – actor, theater activist and all-round funny guy.

M. Jegathesan – The great sportsman. First Malaysian to ever reach a track event semifinals in the Olympics. 21.2 seconds. The 200m sprint. Tokyo. 1964.

Param – that comedian back when Malaysian TV was still politically incorrect. Him and Lim Goh Poh were hilarious.

K. Embaraj – one of the greatest hockey defenders in the world.

Thesi – that nice old man who comes to my house on his green bicycle to sell ‘kacang puteh’ every week so many many years ago. My mom used to give him old telephone directories to make the paper cones.

Anyways, to all my friends who do celebrate it, Happy Deepavali!

Technorati Tags: Deepavali, Alleycats, Indian, Hindu, Malaysia

Bargaining Thai-Style (as opposed to Malaysian-Style)

Stall Owner: Sawadee kap… want to buy silver/silk/T-shirt/priceless-artefact-unearthed-from-ancient-sunken-city-of-Ayutthaya?

Me: Hmmm. Just browsing. (Points to something, NOT the priceless artefact, of course) How much for this one?

Stall Owner: This one I give very cheap. 400 baht only. (Gives the all famous ‘land of thousand smiles’ smile)

Me: (Raises eyebrows).

(Side note: I dunno. This raising eyebrows thing is seemed to be taken for representing “Geez, kind of steep price for first offer, isn’t it?” or “What kind of overpaying water fish tourist do you take me for?” Should the price be even higher, you can feign horror as if they asked for your firstborn in exchange for the trinket you want to buy. End of sidenote.)

Me: Wah so expensive, ah?

Stall Owner: No problem, I give discount (ah, the magic word that is supposed to lure every tourist to parting with their hard-earned money…) How much you can give?

(Side note: Hmmm, this is something I noticed. They usually don’t get themselves drawn into a price haggle with you. They always seem to ask YOU to quote the price. If this was in Malaysia, you’d probably hear them use phrases like ‘best price already’ or ‘very good quality, you don’t believe you touch and see’. End of sidenote.)

(Stall Owner whips out small calculator for you to key in the offer price. Just so the two of you don’t misunderstand each other on the very important OFFER PRICE due to slightly varying versions of English on both parties.)

Me: (Reluctantly keys in 25o baht onto calculator). This?

Side note: At this point, there is no change in the generous smile, no flinching even. Very, very cool. If this was Malaysian, there’d the usual wayang of ‘Wah, kenot la, I’m not making any money oredi‘ crap. And usually with the accompanying “I’ve got 14 kids to feed” look on their face. End of sidenote.

Stall Owner: I give you best price (Another of the ‘magic phrases’…) Can? Since today you are my first customer (my watch tells me it’s almost midnight….) this is very special price…

And then the process repeats itself if I’m really interested to buy. Most of the time, i won’t ask the price or haggle if I’m not interested in buying. All the time, they’re very courteous and polite. None of that ‘you want to buy, buyla, dowan dowan la‘ attitude from some Malaysian stall owners…

Technorati Tags: Malaysia, shopping, Thai, Thailand

Sojourn to the Kingdom of Lanna (Chiang Mai la…)

If you’re wondering where I’ve disappeared to for the past few days, I was on holiday over the weekend to the ancient Siamese kingdom of Lanna, or Chiang Mai as you would call it today.

Don’t worry, I won’t be posting like 20 vacation photos here, just a few interesting points about the oldest city in Thailand.

First thing I noticed when i stepped off the plane (AirAsia, no less) – no haze. I know, I know, everyone here is sick to death of talking about the haze, but it only takes a few seconds there without haze to realize how unhealthy and smoky it is in Malaysia.

Another thing about Chiang Mai – it’s like the capital city of Toyota. Actually it applies to all Thailand, not just one city. Everywhere you look, there are plenty of Altis, Vios, Soluna, Fortuner, and funny pick-up truck models. There are plenty of Hondas and Mitsubishis, but not as many as Toyotas. These Jap cars are assembled here, and you can buy them really cheap, something like RM20k cheaper than in Malaysia. (For the record, I didn’t see any Protons. No Peroduas, either).

Also other Thailand road staples – the tuk tuk, the red cabs (c0nverted pick-ups) and the Altis cabs.

There are also plenty of 7-11 stores everywhere. Some streets have like 4 or 5.

We went to most of the tourist spots in our 4 days there. Firstly, most people would recommend Doi Suthep, a hillside temple with a awesome view of Chiang Mai. Its about 45min from the city, and there are also hilltribe villages nearby.

One defining attraction of Chiang Mai is the nightmarket. It starts at about 6pm to midnight – EVERY NIGHT. For Malaysians, it’s a bit like the pasar malam, except they sell mostly dry goods (in fact i’d say it’s a lot like the one in Batu Ferengghi) and they mostly sell the same stuff everywhere in the market – silk, handicrafts, fake leather and tees, decor, more trinkets, etc. Mat Salleh tourists will probably find it fascinating and unbelieveably cheap, though. On Sunday nights there is the Sunday night bazaar inside the old city, which has more variety than the daily night market, plus there are lots of street buskers.

Another big draw is the elephant camps. I’ve read about some that are a rip-off and are exploitative, but the one we went to (Maesa) was very good. The elephant show is highly recommended. If you’re lucky you’ll get to see fresh elephant droppings being produced.

Chiang Mai has also lots of home industries - although the way they’re organized and marketed they are hardly ‘home’ anymore. You’ve got factories for jewelry, umbrellas, silver, silk, bird’s nest, leather (the stingray skin is really something), etc. Can you say tourist trapwater fish?

There are lots of orchid farms, and the flowers there are REALLY beautiful – not like the ones in Cameron. They even make jewelry out of orchids and butterflies.

For a day trip you can go to Chiang Rai and see how they grow poppy for making opium. And who says these holiday trips aren’t educational?! (As a note, we didn’t make the trip there.)

Also, we visited the night safari, which was excellent. Highly recommended. Take note of the jibes against the Singaporeans by the safari tour leader… hilarious.

I’d say i really enjoyed my trip there. Thailand is a beautiful and large country, and there are hundreds of places and things to see. The people are courteous and friendly, and they’re got the whole tourism thing down pat without being too commercialized – something Malaysia can do to emulate.

Okay. When’s my next holiday?

Technorati Tags: Thailand, Chiang Mai, tourism, Toyota, holiday

Haze, Rain and the Stock Market

Haze, rain (flood and traffic jams), haze, rain (flood and…), haze…

I’m beginning to see a pattern emerging here.

After one week of lung choking haze, number of MC’s increase. Yes, I contributed one day, too. Then the papers will be out with their swords against those people contributing to the haze e.g. evil logging companies, poor enforcement by neighbouring companies, restaurants serving sizzling steaks, etc.

Then comes one day of super heavy rain.

I guarantee you the next day there’ll be front page pictures comparing the ‘haze’ and ‘no haze’ KL skyline. Usually with Mat Salleh tourist pointing to the sky. (Yes, everyone, don’t forget the haze will be turned into a major tourist event for Visit Malaysia Year 2007).

Traffic jams and floodings caused by the heavy downpour, aiyah, that one we Malaysians used to it la, if you’re caught in it, who ask you to leave the office so late? Very busy izzit? Year end evaluation long time more, lah…

The other day in the thick of the haze, when i couldn’t even see 200m ahead of the road in the morning, the radio news was telling me that the API reading for KL is still not at dangerous level yet, only 120 or something. ‘Dangerous level’ is defined at 300. Geez, i can imagine what 300 would look like. If the API=100, i get 1 day MC, then API=300 i might get 3 days.

I suspect that the API readings have a strange correlation with the KLCI, but have yet to see the significance of it. Well, at least the API increases, can’t really say the same for the KLCI, so…

Another Episode in Saga of My Proton

Regular readers of this blog (yes, all TWO of you) will remember me mentioning about my (un)trusty old Proton Iswara, which DBKL is considering to award the “Oldest Proton in the City” special prize soon.

These days I seldom use it, due to a variety of reasons, namely – air-con not working, engine overheats every time I get anywhere within 2 meters of Jalan Tun Razak, etc. You get the picture. So recently, its been spending a lot of time parked outside my house depriving the grass under it of sunlight, so much so there’s a patch of yellowing grass everytime I reverse the car out.

Then last week my wife, who starts the car every 3 days or so, told me it couldn’t start. So on Sunday, I popped the hood, thinking that the battery connector is loose, one of the many frequent problems I’m already used to with this award winning car. But no, the connectors were firmly in place (gee, at least something isn’t loose or falling onto the highway for once).

The last time my mechanic changed the battery was just over a year ago (he kindly engraves the date of change onto the top of the plastic cover, of my battery, not my car), so I reckon the battery is temporarily dead due to unuse, not like totally dead. Usually my car battery lasts somewhere between 18-20 months, depending on usage, providing I don’t bleed the battery dry inside every time.

Every time I had a dead battery in the past, I’d push start the car. Because it’s so easy and fun to do so. But this time, my car was parked in an awkward position facing uphill, so we decided to do something I’ve never done before – jumpstart the thing. So we whipped out the cables from another car (always have cables, especially if you drive an automatic car, or else you’ll spend a lot of time having meaningful phone calls with AAM).

So we move another live car as close as possible to the dead car (very difficult especially the dead car is parked in front of a railing next to a tree) connected the cables. Red cable joins red connector to red connector, similarly for black. If you’re jumper cables come in any other colour, it’s time to see your eye doctor.

Anyway, we managed to get the dead car up and running again. And a few lessons learnt:

• Make sure you start the car at least once every three days.
• Driving a car without air-conditioning is bloody uncomfortable.
• After taking off the cables, don’t touch the copper parts together. Sparks hurt.

Simontalks.com Temporarily Closed Due To Haze Again

I know this happened before, but simontalks.com is closed temporarily due to the $%@#$ haze and related respiratory illnesses.

Normal services should resume in a day or two. Hopefully. Some more tomorrow not holiday for me man.

Anyway, for those who can’t remember how our country looked like before our neighbours tried to choke us to death… i think it looked something like this…