Two Foreigners in KL During Hari Raya

Trigger – Hey, Silver. You know something? I feel a little uneasy around here. This place is a bit… spooky.

Silver – Aw, c’mon, it’s spook because it some festival going on here in Malaysia. All the good folks have disappeared off somewhere, leaving the Filipino maids, Indonesian labourers, Myanmar coffeeshop workers and other foreigners like us to rule in the city…! Yee-haw!

Trigger – Yes, but don’t you notice something? There’s no other foreigners here but us! And i don’t think the locals are all gone… I can see some of them peeking out at us from inside their homes… I think they’re very suspicious of us…

Silver – We’re not in KLCC Park, lah. This is a quieter, suburban area. And of course the locals are suspicious of us. We don’t exactly look like them, do we? We’re just two weird looking studs, that’s who we are.

Trigger – I’m just saying. Oh, look now that annoying dog is barking at us. I hate these domesticated mongrels. No dignity at all. Should I go over there show him the pecking order?

Silver – Don’t start a fight with the locals. Shut up and eat your food.

Trigger – i hate the veg here. Why on earth did we come here?

Silver – Don’t blame me, the grass always looked greener here. Besides, you shouldn’t look a gift horse in its mouth.

Trigger – Oh, look, now the cars are slowing down and there’s a guy taking our photos. Should i smile? Or prance around? Or do a trot! Yes, they love it when it act freaky…!

Silver – Quit horsing around! We’re tourists, not trick ponies, you moron!

Trigger – Giddy-up, giddy-up, Hi Ho Silver…!

Silver – Hey, STOP IT! You gonna get us sent to the TURF CLUB!!!!

(“Look, there’s that guy with the camera again!”)

(“Why do I keep thinking of ciggies each time i see a white horse?”)

(“I think we better get a move on. Some brats wanna play football…”)

(I spotted these two somewhere in suburban KL over the holidays. Must be some rich Datuk’s. I wanted to point them to the direction of KLCC, but they’re didn’t look to friendly. Damn these foreigners.)