And Another Thing About My Wonderful Neighbours…

I’ve mentioned my neighbours before, and after a quite few months, they’ve acted up again. As I’m typing now, one of the couples staying there are having a massive shouting matches (I’ve no idea what’s it about, I can’t make out the screaming words at the top of their voices). It’s a bit like those Hong Kong serials really, except they not as good-looking or have designer apartments, and also here they use a lot more vulgarities than on TV. A LOT more.

These shouting matches tend to follow a certain pattern, but I notice it not because I’m so the very paat, but with these thin walls of my low cost house, privacy doesn’t mean much around here.

First girl’s mother comes and visit. Then after a weekend or a week, the old lady goes home. I know this because the old lady will wash everything there is to wash in the house – bedding, tablecloth, mats, etc. that never gets washed unless when she’s around. I also know whenever she’s around because the girl and mother will be trading gossip loudly through the night.

Then after the nice old lady goes home, after a day or two, the guy and girl disagree on something. I can’t say for sure if it really has anything the nice visiting mother, their profanity-laced shoutings are too complicated for me.

After a few minutes of screaming, I can hear things being thrown, doors slammed, and tables (or cupboards) thumped. Not necessarily in that order. Ah, the many splendours of marital bliss…

Then the screaming goes outside, one party (I’m not interested to stick my head outside to see which party) slams car door (heavily modded racerboy Honda Civic), drives off.

The next day things are back to normal, whatever passes for normal around here.

At least until nice old lady visits again.

If You Can Read This… (Also Something on Black Lagoon)

Saw this at the carpark. Picture of the Day.

No idea what it says, though… :pbpbpbpb

In a totally unrelated matter, i’ve got to mention this – Silencers is absolutely spot on – Go and watch Black Lagoon. It’s brilliant.

(pic from wikipedia. Is there any other good English fansites?!)

Technorati Tags: anime, black lagoon

An Introduction to Malaysian Reality TV Singing Contests

A few days ago, Suki was just crowned the first ever “One in A Million” champion. I hardly watched the show, the timing didn’t agree with me, but by and large I follow most of the local (and foreign) reality TV singing contests.

But first, some definitions – these shows are really just singing contests, not much different from your school year-end “talentime” contest. But the difference in these so-called “reality shows” is that instead of the just judges scoring the singing, the scoring is entirely (or partly) decided by the viewers – either via call-in votes, the ever popular SMS votes (text messaging) and even online voting. Further to that, some shows (notably Akademi Fantasia) ups the “reality” portion of the show by showing daily footage of the contestants in their everyday lives (they are usually housed together for the duration of their participation) to let the viewers “get to know” the contestants better.

some of these shows prelude the contest proper with footage of the judges touring round the country for open auditions, usually with the editors focusing on the very bad ones (for humor value) and the potentially good ones to balance it out.

It all started with American Idol (AI). That’s not a local production (obviously), it’s the massively popular American edition of the original Pop Idol show from the UK. Astro our local cable broadcaster started showing from the 3rd season in 2004 onwards, the one where Fantasia Barrino won. The subsequent winners were Carrie Underwood (2005) and Taylor Hicks (2006). AI usually starts in January and goes on until May.

So let’s see what we have here:

Malaysian Idol (MI) – this is the local edition of Pop Idol, spawned mainly from the huge success of its American counterpart. By and large, it follows the same format as the worldwide franchise, with Paul Moss, Fauziah Latiff and Roslan Aziz as the resident judges. As successful as it was to attract the best undiscovered talent in the country, the show never really captured the popularity or media frenzy as its main competitor Akademi Fantasia or compared to American Idol. Strangely enough, it only lasted for two seasons. The inaugural champion was seasoned performer Jaclyn Victor, followed by pretty-boy Daniel Lee (who, most people noted, beat the more talented Nita in the final). I feel that MI, in its short run, had a very cosmopolitan appeal in terms of contestants and viewer following, and because of the maturity of the finalist, I felt that the level of talent (subjective as that may be) was the highest overall (although not necessarily with Daniel – my running joke it’s that he brought the series to an end…)

Akademi Fantasia (AF) – the local version of La Academia, has been wildly popular in recent editions, partly due to the massive media advertising and tie-in campaign, and particularly its appeal to both the urban and rural Malay teenagers. There has been 4 editions to date, however in the first year, 2003, it hadn’t really reached it widespread popularity yet (maybe it had something to do with the fact that AI hadn’t been telecast here yet). The first winner was Vince, followed Zahid (2004), Mawi (2005) and Faizal (2006). The biggest contention against this show is that due to its largely schoolgirl following, the male contestants stand a far superior chance of winning the contest, evident when more talented and but less popular singers (especially the girls) were eliminated. It can be said that the importance of the ‘popularity’ element of the show far outweights the ‘talent‘ half of the equilibrium. The second contention is that with the age of the contestants decidedly lower, the talent of the participants are usually said to have not reached their maturity yet. But it is undeniable that in terms of exposure and financial success nationwide, this one comes out tops. Traditionally, the series starts in May right after AI.

One in A Million (OIAM)– the successor to MI. They basically reformatted the whole show, with a myriad of different elimination processes, renamed and rebranded it, recycled Paul Moss and saved a whole of money in franchise licensing fees. There may be other reasons, but I didn’t really follow the series. But the big selling point of the show is that it offers a million ringgit to the winner. The first winner this year is Suki. This being the first year, it was moderately successful, but next year, plus the attraction of the biggest cash prize so far…

Project Superstar – Mandarin version of AI, originating from Singapore. Malaysia just concluded their first season, but since me no speak good Mandarin, so me no really watch so much. But what I do know is that the judges have a say in the voting, and they are usually highly critical of the participants.

(Astro Talent Quest doesn’t count as a reality singing contest because the winner is chosen by the judges, although they have a special prize for viewer’s choice).

Mentor – TV3’s reply to Astro’s AF, but far less popular. Far, far, less. In this show, the judges’ vote constitutes 70% of the scoring. Unsurprisingly, not many people have even heard of this show.

(all images from wikipedia)

Technorati Tags: American idol, Malaysian idol, suki, one in a million, akademi fantasia, vince, AF, mawi, Astro, Astro talent quest, mentor, project superstar, pop idol, jac victor, daniel lee, paul moss, roslan aziz, fauziah latiff, fantasia barrino, taylor hicks, carrie underwood

Some Overused Marketing Clichés In Malaysian Condos

Marketing property is pretty much the same as marketing anything else in Malaysia – lightbulbs, credit cards, second hand cars. The all hype up their products, focus on one or two of their ‘best’ qualities, seldom show the research or calculations to back their product, and more importantly, overuse cliched marketing buzzwords and catchphrases that everyone else is also using.

Property is really hot in Malaysia these days. Everywhere in the Klang Valley you see condos sprouting up like toadstools after a monsoon rain. And together with it, the beautiful computer-generated graphics of the building, with the lush greenery in the background (whereas in reality its filled with other people’s houses)…

Some Overused Marketing Clichés In Malaysian Condos

• Infinity pool.
• “Only five minutes from the city”.
• Water feature.
• The words ‘sanctuary‘, ‘haven‘, ‘tranquility‘ and ‘breathtaking‘.
• “Five star facilities”.
• Sky lounge.
• Any use of the word ‘green‘. Especially for a project right in the middle of the city.
• “Last chance to own…”
• Landscaped park.
• “Another prestigious project by…”

Technorati Tags: malaysia, real estate, property, KL, condo, condominium

Homecooked Birthday Dinner

Life has its little pleasures, celebrated a simple birthday dinner with some homecooked lasagna, cheese sausages and fresh vegetables with family.

Below:my portion…

Below:Kid no.1′s portion.

Below:and one for other the kid…

Below:There was also a brownie-chocolate-ice cream cake to top it all off.

Below: Said cake, after 10 minutes.

Another 364 days of being a slave to the grind. Life on the skids can get you down, but moments like these make it all worthwhile.

Technorati Tags: birthday, cake, chocolate, brownie

Interview With The Award Winning Exemplary Malaysian

Reporter – Thank you, Studio 1, we are now live in Jalan P. Kandiasamy right here in the city. Together with me here, is a very special guest, Lee Tuck Keong, who, although many of you may not know who is it, but he is truly one of the great, exemplary Malaysian.

Ah Keong – … (mouth open, staring silently at the reporter’s mike)

Reporter – Now, we have heard of many feats of wonder by our fellow countrymen, like Azhar Yusoff, that two guys who climbed Everest, umm… sorry their names escape me at the moment, and Datuk Michelle Yeoh, but Ah Keong here also has a great achievement, don’t you, sir?

Ah Keong – … (still staring at the humongous mike)

Reporter – sir… sir?

Ah Keong – … ah?

Reporter – Never mind… anyway, Ah Keong here, is the first Malaysian to drive non-stop around the country in his trusty 20-year-old Proton Saga, from JB to…

Ah Keong – ah… my car Proton Iswala ah, not Proton Saga.

Reporter – Uh, Proton Iswara, on a 2,486km journey around Peninsula Malaysia. You want to tell the viewers about your trip, sir?

Ah Keong – ah, yah. I started in JB, hor, then go coastal road all the way to Melaka, PoLickson, PoKlang, Kolompo, Ipoh, Penang…

Reporter – So did you stop there?

Ah Keong – ah, no. Then from Penang, I drove to Golok, then Kota Bahru, Terengganu, Kuantan, Mersing, and then back to JB again lor. So I’m in the Malaysian Book of Records lor.

Reporter – wow, that is indeed an incredible feat, sir. So you drove non-stop for six days alone in your car?

Ah Keong – Ah yeah. But I got stop to pee. Four times a day ah. Most of the time at the shell station lor. They’ve got the cleanest toilet. Don’t try those coffeeshop toilets, man. Go inside can vomit one ah. Public toilets don’t need to say la.

Reporter – so did you also stop for food?

Ah Keong – ah only once a day lor. Most of the time I eat Jacob’s biscuit, but now got crumbs on my carseat. Then at night I sleep for about 4 hours in my car. Dam lot of mosquitos ah.

Reporter – that is truly amazing, and worthy for a Malaysian book of records entry. We’re running out of time, folks, but before we return to studio one, any last words for our viewers?

Ah Keong – Got, got. Melaka to Tampin trunk road, ah, slow down after the bridge ah, got speed trap one. Silver Honda Accord number 6635, Taiping, you drive LIKE CRAZY ONE AH? Simply OVERTAKE ONE!!! Some more don’t pump petrol at that station outside Gehbeng, they add kerosene one, engine knock like mad, ah. Some more don’t accept bonuslink one. Sekinchan Mat Rempit dam siao one ah, do that superman thing at 3 o’clock in the morning, walao, em chai si, man… Seberang Perai got one pasembor stall very good man, must line up to buy one. Kota Tinggi this apek…

Reporter – this is your roving reporter live from Jalan P. Kandiasamy, signing off and see you soon…

Ah Keong – wait, wait, I nearly kena road bully in Tumpat, ah… (camera fades out)

Technorati Tags: Malaysia, driving, drivers

Let’s Talk Cellphones

There’s this ad on TV (and by TV, I mean satellite TV, I have no idea what they’re showing on local), I think it’s by a local telco, where they show the evolution of handphones (or as the Americans call it, cellphones). First there was the huge brick-like ones (can anyone remember the Nokia Mobira and Primero Basix?), then the mass-market basic Ericsson and Nokia garden patch variety (everyone had one, only with different coloured casings and ringtones), and one to the present day MMS-Java-3G-whatchamacallits.

I think the whole premise of the ad was how the cellular lifestyle has influenced and been a part of our lives, and not so much to tell you how big and primitive phones were only like 5 years ago. But phones are sure getting smaller and smaller.

I remember maybe like 7 or 8 years ago, there was ANOTHER ad on TV by Ericsson (local TV, back then I didn’t have satellite TV yet). It showed this woman with thick bushy hair in a posh restaurant, hand on her cheek. She’s saying to this other guy at another table, “come and have dinner with me” or something like that.

The guy thinks she’s coming on to him, but soon realizes that she was actually talking o a handphone in her palm under the bushy hair. Haw haw. Actually, it wasn’t accurate, I had the phone they were advertising – the GH337 (or one of it many, many variants) and there was no way it could be hidden in my palm. Can anyone say false inaccurate advertising.

Phones are getting more and more advanced these days, not to mention smaller. But there are some features I’d like to see added on to them in the future:

Radar alarm – using Bluetooth or any other coloured teeth, give me a warning whenever a particular person comes within a 10 of me. Good for avoiding people you don’t want to bump into or warn me when my boss tries to sneak up on me.

Expiry alarm – automatically goes off after owning the phone for 6 months. To remind you that your phone is nearly obsolete and time for you to buy a new one with more of the features listed here.

Swiss Army handphone – really, why hasn’t anyone thought of this yet? For the wannabe MacGyver tech geek in the new millennium.

Built in Shaver-tron function – normal phone comes with a twin blade shaver function. For men on the go and want to look good (spray-on aftershave feature optional).

Handphone cum lightsabre – when you really get annoyed with someone…

Technorati Tags: telco, handphones, cellphones, Ericsson, Nokia, ringtones, MMS, Java, 3G, Bluetooth, MacGyver

The Twenty One Lies of The Internet

I haven’t had this much fun writing a post for such a long time. Dedicated to all my friends, both real and online.

1. “I’m only going to check my e-mail.”
2. “Hot girls are waiting to talk to you now.”
3. “No, I never googled any of my friends.”
4. “Click here to unsubscribe.”
5. “Fastest growing petrol stocks.”
6. “Click the monkey and win a prize!”
7. “I never surf the internet during office hours.”
8. “Credit card for authentication only.”
9. “My name is Mahmooud Ghafoor and I’m the former Minister of Finance of Nigeria.”
10. “I was just surfing, I didn’t even know how I got this website.”
11. “No, I don’t know any porn sites.”
12. “Your computer may be at risk.”
13. “There must have been a mistake with the credit card online billing, I have never subscribed to anything on the internet.”
14. “Increase your manhood.”
15. “Your computer clock may be wrong.”
16. “No, I never read any blogs…”
17. “There is some problem with your PayPal account.”
18. “We assure the privacy of your e-mail address and details.”
19. “30 day free trial.”
20. “Great post, I’ve bookmarked your page.”

Okay, I just had to add this one, 21 is a good number to stop at.

21. “Streamyx Unlimited Broadband Access up to 2 Mbps.”

Technorati Tags: Web, internet, broadband, malaysia, broadband, streamyx, tmnet, blogs, e-mail

Top Ten Signs That the Mooncake Festival Is Getting Far Too Commercialized

Top Ten Signs That the Mooncake Festival Is Getting Far Too Commercialized.

• You want to buy lotus paste single yolk but the the neighbourhood shop only sells ‘new‘ flavours like snow skin vanilla with Ipoh white coffee and tiramisu. And low sugar white lotus and cheese.
• Mooncakes shaped like Garfield are SO last season. This year’s new trend – shaped like Chairman Mao and the Firefox logo.

• Instead of metal or wooden boxes, this year, if you buy 4 mooncakes, they give you a Targus leather bag. (Suitable to be reused for carrying notebook or projector).

• The cheapest variation of mooncake on sale costs a “very cheap” price of RM9.75 only. (RM39 for one box of 4, sorry no discount…)

• Even your neighbourhood restaurant Mamak Sri Paramalingam has set up a special mooncake stall next to the chicken naan stall.

• Buy four boxes of Restoran New Kowloon mooncakes and get a free AirAsia ticket to Langkawi worth RM9.99. Off peak travel only, airport tax not included.

• Some big restaurant chains have been selling mooncakes for almost two months now. And Mooncake Festival is still one month away…
• …and immediately after the Mooncake Festival, the Chinese New Year sales start again…
• “Apply for our new ‘Restoran New Kowloon Platinum Privilege Membership Card‘ and you can enjoy 5% off all mooncakes!****” (Please read fine print carefully)
• “What’s does the Mid-Autumn Festival signify? Hmmm, I dunno lah. All I know that there’s mooncake to eat…”

Technorati Tags: mooncakes, Mooncake Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival

Of Women’s Tennis Players (Specifically Henin-Hardenne vs. Sharapova)

Speaking of women’s tennis, the US Open final is on this weekend. I’d like to say that the US Open is probably the most exciting of the 4 slams, Wimbledon is full of tradition but tennis on grass don’t look so great if you’re not serve and volleying. And what’s with the white-gear-only ruling? Anyway, as my dad says, when it comes to finals, the grass is mostly dead and gone, it’s pretty much like playing in clay. Roland Garros, well, it’s OK, except that kind of clay reminds me of construction site backfilling works.

And Aussie Open comes on too early in the season for me to get into it.

Back to the hardcourts of the US Open. The finals are going to be Justin Henin-Hardenne against Maria Sharapova. That latter’s entry will probably ensure a few more million viewers for the match. But hey, women’s tennis needs all the viewers (and prize money) it can get (49-year old multi-grand-slam-winner-now-playing-doubles-but-now-retired notwithstanding...)

Of all the current women players, i like Henin-Hardenne the best. She’s got this killer cross court backhand that half the guys on the circuit can’t return, and her games’ solid all round. Plus she’s got this steely determination that can make Stallone look like Nacho Libre (btw, has anyone noticed she has a slight resemblance to Malaysian actress Michelle Yeoh?)

Sharapova, well, good looks aside, she plays good tennis, and wins. Can’t say the same for Anna Kournikova, though, last i heard she was cavorting around in an Enrique Iglesias video, plus playing doubles (not at the same time). She did well to beat world number 1 Amelie Mauresmo, and if she wins, this will be the second Grand Slam for her after Wimbledon of 2004. Let’s just hope she has a changed to a better cellular phone network to call her mom.

Women’s tennis has been a lot more exciting since the days of Venus Williams and her muscle-bound brother sister Serena winning every single grand slam. I’ve nothing against them, but watching them beat some hapless opponent 6-1, 6-0 is as exciting as the New Zealand All Blacks take on my school’s rugby team.

Technorati Tags: Roland Garros, Justin Henin-Hardenne, Maria Sharapova, Michelle Yeoh, Anna Kournikova, Enrique Iglesias, Amelie Mauresmo, Venus Williams, Serena Williams, US Open, tennis, women, Wimbledon,