Let’s Talk Cellphones

Published by simon on September 15, 2006

There’s this ad on TV (and by TV, I mean satellite TV, I have no idea what they’re showing on local), I think it’s by a local telco, where they show the evolution of handphones (or as the Americans call it, cellphones). First there was the huge brick-like ones (can anyone remember the Nokia Mobira and Primero Basix?), then the mass-market basic Ericsson and Nokia garden patch variety (everyone had one, only with different coloured casings and ringtones), and one to the present day MMS-Java-3G-whatchamacallits.

I think the whole premise of the ad was how the cellular lifestyle has influenced and been a part of our lives, and not so much to tell you how big and primitive phones were only like 5 years ago. But phones are sure getting smaller and smaller.

I remember maybe like 7 or 8 years ago, there was ANOTHER ad on TV by Ericsson (local TV, back then I didn’t have satellite TV yet). It showed this woman with thick bushy hair in a posh restaurant, hand on her cheek. She’s saying to this other guy at another table, “come and have dinner with me” or something like that.

The guy thinks she’s coming on to him, but soon realizes that she was actually talking o a handphone in her palm under the bushy hair. Haw haw. Actually, it wasn’t accurate, I had the phone they were advertising – the GH337 (or one of it many, many variants) and there was no way it could be hidden in my palm. Can anyone say false inaccurate advertising.

Phones are getting more and more advanced these days, not to mention smaller. But there are some features I’d like to see added on to them in the future:

Radar alarm – using Bluetooth or any other coloured teeth, give me a warning whenever a particular person comes within a 10 of me. Good for avoiding people you don’t want to bump into or warn me when my boss tries to sneak up on me.

Expiry alarm – automatically goes off after owning the phone for 6 months. To remind you that your phone is nearly obsolete and time for you to buy a new one with more of the features listed here.

Swiss Army handphone – really, why hasn’t anyone thought of this yet? For the wannabe MacGyver tech geek in the new millennium.

Built in Shaver-tron function – normal phone comes with a twin blade shaver function. For men on the go and want to look good (spray-on aftershave feature optional).

Handphone cum lightsabre – when you really get annoyed with someone…

Technorati Tags: telco, handphones, cellphones, Ericsson, Nokia, ringtones, MMS, Java, 3G, Bluetooth, MacGyver

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