Top Ten Things Going Through Sven-Goran Eriksson’s Mind While Selecting the World Cup Squad

Sven, Sven, Sven… He’s finally named his squad, and there’s quite a few surprises in it. Like the inclusion of the teenagers Theo Walcott and Aaron Lennon. But of course he’s sticking with Owen and Rooney, although one hasn’t played much and the other is, like, injured.

Enough about that. Either he’s a visionary who’ll bring England to World Cup glory, or a reckless gambler who can’t wait to leave his job. Everything will be clear come Germany ’06.

Picture taken from theFA.com

Top Ten Things Going Through Sven-Goran Eriksson’s Mind While Selecting the World Cup Squad

The thing is that Sven the man always looks serious, like he’s contemplating the deeper mysteries of the universe. Well, i think he’s an everyday dude, only with a bloated salary… most of the time, he’s thinking usual stuff, probably a little more trivial than most people…

  • “Wow, Beckham is such a great player, and an awesome captain… Must remember to emphasize that in my next press interview… I wonder if I’ve mention that before… Beckham must play… such a great player… I’ll even let him play goalie if he wants… I’m so lucky to have him as a captain… Beckham is awesome!”

  • Oh, man… [tag]Steve McClaren[/tag] is SO screwed, man…!”

  • “What on earth is a ‘metatarsal‘? Isn’t some kind of Greek lamb dish? And why did [tag]Rooney[/tag] go and play with it and break it?”

  • Screw the World Cup, that new FA secretary is one hot chick!”

  • “Damn, that Mourinho has got hot looking stubble! I wonder if he uses double blade shavers. Speaking of which, did I shave this morning…?

  • “Shaun who? Wright-Phillips? Right winger? Where have I heard this name before? Is he one of the England U-17 players? Got to ask Tord Grip about this… La-di-da…”

  • “Ok, I’ve got to remind myself everyday… ‘4-4-2’ is good… ‘4-4-2’ is good… and don’t forget to pick a goalie, too… ‘4-4-2’ is good…”

  • “OK, one more time… JOE Cole is a midfielder… CARLTON Cole is not on my list… wait, wait… there’s another player named Cole… playing leftback…. ummm… damn, I know this… Andy Cole? Nat King Cole?”

  • “Oh my, that Thierry Henry is really good, I should really pick him for the World Cup! I wonder if he’s English? Can I pick him? Oh wait, I think he’s probably Welsh… damn. Just like that Giggs kid… Damn this farcical ‘passport‘ rule…!”

  • “What the heck, whichever player I choose, England will still probably lose at the semis or quarters… Might as well close my eyes and pick the 23 players i see on Match of the Day…”

[tags]Football, england, Sven-Goran Eriksson, World Cup[/tags]


  • Naz

    Instead of 3 holding midfielders in Carrick, Jenas and Hargreaves, he could have left one out and bring Defoe in and put Bent on provisional.

    The way it looks, its gonna be Crouch and Walcott for the Paraguay opener. Or *gasp*, Crouch as lone striker for the first game! Hahaha!

  • Pat

    Hahaha, and they paid him million$$ for this. They should hire you or me instead!

    I think England is screwed, unless the midfielders themselves say “Screw the coach” and go up and score some goals themselves.

    Its interesting to hear Sven say that they tried to play Chelsea style and it didn’t work. Speaks volumes about your competence, Sven!

    Oops, I’ve revealed how I really feel about him.

  • JoeC

    I think he is always the middle of the road or middle of the fence. I just dun feel that england is serious contender for the cup and now with roony loony out there is less chance to get to the later stages of the cup. Hope that FA is making a wise decision by getting Big Phill, dunno if tat is the solution. Cheers!

  • simon

    naz – i think it’ll more likely be crouch and owen. but i agree, definitely defoe deserves to get in ahead of walcott. but we’ll see what happens on the opening day…

    din – oh yeah, definitely. just 30 more days…

    inevitable – yeah, i’ve put my list there!

    Pat – seriously, i think Sven is gambling everything on it, since this is his last tournament, and he probably can’t wait to go off. I can’t really see them scoring lots of goals, except from midfield.

    joeC – FA signed Steve McClaren, after Phil turned it down, remember?

  • Laksa

    I totally agree with Naz – 3 holding midfielders are too many, though Jenas is more of a playmaker, in my humble opinion. Personally, I’d prefer to see Scott Parker in the mould – i think he’s more tenacious than Carrick or Hargreaves.

    As for the strikers, yeah, Defoe should’ve been in, and likewise Bent too. I don’t really like Crouch, but admittedly he does add a different dimension to the team with his height. I think Walcott might turn out to be a pleasant surprise for the tournament since he’s a bit of an unknown quantity.

    I like McClaren, but would’ve preferred Sam Allardyce to be the new coach. I think an Englishman deserved the top job, anyways.

    Just my 2 sen, and your take on what Sven’s thinking is hilarious, Simon 🙂

  • Boone

    Sven’s is probably more tactically accomplished than most of his England predecessors, but he certainly lack a plan B, as shown. So if the chips are down, he seem unable to change tactics unlike Rafa or Joe-zay. For England’s sake, let’s hope he overcomes this in the WC, esp when his plan A has gone awry before even the WC started.

    Ah, Pity Shearer is injured, if not, he can be drafted. Pity Teddy is like 47, if not he too can play. Wouldn’t mind seeing Robbie in the team as well…..

  • simon

    joeC – well, we will all find out in about a month! counting down!!!

    laksa – anyway by the looks of it, sven is likely to play 4-5-1. that’s why got so many midfielders. even with 7 defenders, i’m pretty sure they’re well covered.

    boone – andy cole was also seen waiting nervously by his phone…

    eyeris – done!

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