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Top Ten Things Not to Say to Your Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day

Published by simon on February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine’s Day, folks. Simon does a list. Ten Items. So its a top ten list.

Enjoy the chocolates and flowers, everyone, while they last.

Top Ten Things Not to Say to Your Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day

  • “I hope you don’t mind I go out with my friends to the watch the football live telecast tonight, dear…”

  • “Hey, did you know that the initials of Valentine’s Day is VD – the same as Venereal Disease…!”

  • ”Guess what? I ex-girlfriend called me today! We spent almost two hours chatting…”

  • ”I wanted to buy you this fantastic gift at the Shell service station just now, but it would seem that my credit card has maxed out… so I hope you like your new alarm clock…”

  • ”I wanted to get you this fantastic box of Belgian chocolates, but seeing that you’ve already put on 3 pounds since Christmas, I bought this Jane Fonda exercise video. See, I’m a thoughtful boyfriend, aren’t I?”

  • ”Can we skip dinner tonight? I ate too much potato chips just now, and I’m not feeling hungry at all.”

  • ”Look what I bought you, vouchers for 4 free sessions at The Fat Farm Slimming Centre! I know you’ll love it!”

  • ”A fancy dinner is an over-priced restaurant is so-ooo boring. Let’s try something different… have you tried the new vegan burger at McDonald’s…?”

  • ”I hope you don’t mind my mother joining us for dinner tonight…? She’s staying with me for the next two weeks.”

  • ”Aw, man! It’s Valentine’s Day again! Who invented this holiday, anyway?”
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  1. LcF Said,

    11. “Let’s break up.”

    *LcF fast fast cabut!

  2. lilian Said,

    My atm said dinner he will get for me Pizza Heart! Heart shape mah. (he knows I hate Pizza Hut). I told him I will make his face pizza face! (heh, learnt this word from blogs)

    Happy VD, errr..

  3. Din Said,

    what did u get for your other half?

  4. Shan Said,

    Ahaha - I did the VD thing. My Valentine’s sms greeting to mates was
    “Happy VD. Use a rubber!”
    got a lot of interesting replies.

  5. chengsim Said,

    hehehe.
    i like this post.
    happy celebrating!

  6. anjali* Said,

    You forgot this…

    “Err, what day is today??? Trick question again ah?”

  7. simon Said,

    LcF - Oooo… that one should wait at least until tomorrow..! :)

    lilian - pizza heart very nice wat, better than nothing…

    din - eheheh, dat one secret la dei.

    shan - did your friends want to erase something…? :)

    chengsim - thanks, same to you!

    anjali - answer: “Today is tuesday. Why ah?”

  8. anjali* Said,

    Haha. Yep, that answer is definitely better. :)

  9. consuela Said,

    rofl!
    happy hearts day, simon :)

  10. joe Said,

    I’m not gonna get you roses, I don’t like them, and too common.

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    jcpenney life insurance company…

    trustees multilateral lubricant!bimolecular Hendrix contentment …

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