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Top Ten Things Not to Say to Your Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day, folks. Simon does a list. Ten Items. So its a top ten list.

Enjoy the chocolates and flowers, everyone, while they last.

Top Ten Things Not to Say to Your Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day

  • “I hope you don’t mind I go out with my friends to the watch the football live telecast tonight, dear…”

  • “Hey, did you know that the initials of Valentine’s Day is VD – the same as Venereal Disease…!”

  • ”Guess what? I ex-girlfriend called me today! We spent almost two hours chatting…”

  • ”I wanted to buy you this fantastic gift at the Shell service station just now, but it would seem that my credit card has maxed out… so I hope you like your new alarm clock…”

  • ”I wanted to get you this fantastic box of Belgian chocolates, but seeing that you’ve already put on 3 pounds since Christmas, I bought this Jane Fonda exercise video. See, I’m a thoughtful boyfriend, aren’t I?”

  • ”Can we skip dinner tonight? I ate too much potato chips just now, and I’m not feeling hungry at all.”

  • ”Look what I bought you, vouchers for 4 free sessions at The Fat Farm Slimming Centre! I know you’ll love it!”

  • ”A fancy dinner is an over-priced restaurant is so-ooo boring. Let’s try something different… have you tried the new vegan burger at McDonald’s…?”

  • ”I hope you don’t mind my mother joining us for dinner tonight…? She’s staying with me for the next two weeks.”

  • ”Aw, man! It’s Valentine’s Day again! Who invented this holiday, anyway?”

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