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Simon Answers MORE Questions about Christmas and Santa

It looks like lots of people have burning questions about Christmas and Santa than me… judging from my previous post.

So i’m dedicating today’s post to answering MORE questions. Really, its also becoz I have nothing else better to do…

Why does Santa wear red a red suit?(question by lucia)
It’s not red actually, it’s white. Due to excitement, his blood rushes out to his clothes.

Why does he has a long white beard? (question by lucia)
It’s not really his beard. Santa has a problem with excessive nose hair.

How was Santa like when he was young? (question by Ken)
Very Ho-Ho-Horny. Young boys, you know.

How does Santa preserve his ‘youth’? (question by lilian)
Kopi Jantan Tongkat Ali.

U mean Santa is really coming? (question by mahagurusia)
Yes, but this is the last year. Next year onwards his replacement, Santa Chong Ah Fook will be taking over.

Why does Santa still use a sleigh? There’re modern vehicles like snow scooters. (question by sexymum)
With petrol at USD$70 per barrel?!

I heard that Santa is also an elf. So he’s a bit like Legolas is LOTR? Or Will Ferell in ‘Elf’?
After 6 months of treatment in those Malaysian slimming centres, 3 gallons of Botox, Peroxide hair coloring, 4 hours in the gym everyday (for 4 years), then yes, he will look a bit like Legolas’ grandfather.

What does Santa do from January to November?
Appears as Jabba the Hutt at Star Wars Conventions across America. Earns good money to pay for SKII treatment.

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