Mickey Mouse vs. Barney the Purple Dinosaur: Celebrity Interview
Published by simon on October 20, 2005Simon is kicking a new series of Celebrity Interviews.
Today I thought we might look at two of the most annoying kiddie TV stars, Mickey Mouse against Barney. OK, fine, Mickey isn’t annoying, only the purple dinosaur is.
OK, let’s go.
Interviewer: OK, both of you, why do you think you are so inconceivably popular?
Mickey – Ha! That’s because I’m the epitome of good, clean, Disney fun and parents all approve of me.
Barney – Well, now. I teach children how to have good manners and sing nice songs they can repeat all day.
Interviewer: Yes, but do you know that by doing so, you are also unbelievably annoying to adults?
Mickey – Hey, pal, what’s your problem? We entertain children, not adults.
Barney – yeah, if you don’t like us, don’t listen to us. Aren’t you too old to be listen to Barney’s Mother Goose Sing-A-Long?
Interviewer: Oh, okaaa-aay… How old are you then?
Mickey – I’m 80.
Barney – No idea. Dinosaurs are usually 2 million years old.
Interviewer: But you don’t look 80, Mickey. Are you sure?
Mickey – I pay my plastic surgeons and use gallons of Botox and SK-II. Hey, don’t write that down! I am contractually not allow to reveal that!
Barney – Hey, I heard all that Botox, makes you infertile.
Mickey – I think they tested it on lab mice…
Interviewer: But YOU are a mouse…?
Mickey – Hey, you want to step outside, loser? These gloves pack a wallop, pizza face…
Barney – come to think of it, Mick, you’re 80 and I don’t see any children… I’m not too sure about all those anti-ageing chemicals…
Mickey – Hey, dino boy, mind your own business, ok, or I’ll make you extinct…!
Interviewer: So, Minnie Mouse isn’t putting out, eh?
Mickey – NO! Did she say that? Did Vanity Fair print that interview?!
Barney – Tough luck pal.
Interviewer: Ahem, moving on, next question. What did you do before you become famous?
Barney – Good question. I was doing stand-up comedy in night clubs for a few years, before I quit show business and work in construction, then…
Mickey – Before I was famous?! I’m a freaking cartoon character! Walt Disney DREW me! With a pencil! What kind of a stupid question is that?!
Barney – Really? You’re just a cartoon character? I’m actually a man in a rubber suit… They use another guy for that annoying voice.
Mickey – So you’re really a NOT a real dinosaur?
Barney – What are you, 5 years old? Yeah, I’m a REAL dinosaur, just like in Jurassic Park.
Mickey – I just said I was 80, dude. Are you extinct AND deaf?!
Barney – Look pal, if you want settle this outside…
Hold it, hold it. Let’s finish one last question. Ummm, I dunno if it’s suitable to ask this, but… what the heck. If the two of you had a street fight, who would win…?
Barney – Me, of course. I can take out Disney-wimp here with one hand tied behind my back.
Mickey – oh yeah, Godzilla? Wanna piece of me? Bring it on, fatso.
Barney – Fighting words, my boy. I’ve taken out Mighty Mouse, Thunder Mouse and Danger Mouse. One more and it’ll be 4 blind mice.
Mickey – oh, yeah, before I forget, all dinosaur are gay boys.
Barney – Oooooh, that hurt. Sure, and Donald Duck is more popular than you…!
Folks, looks like it’s the end of another celebrity interview, stay tuned for another episode soon…
Th-th-th-that’s all, folks!
next one… all the princesses that seemed to live “happily ever after”? are they?
Hey, this is ROTFLMAO! So much for ‘no posting’ for today. Errm..I think I will follow suit. Unless they announce holiday real soon then I will go pack my bags for a weekend getaway.
egghead – no they grow fat and play mahjong all day.
lilian – eh, i said ‘for the rest of the day’, lah!
how about hi-5 vs. Wiggles? if you watch this two before.
yeah i watch. wiggles can kick their arse anyday.
Whoops, I saw the wrong sequence la.
Interview the ghey SpongeBob and that no gender Pooh la. I got their contacts, I will ask their respective managers to contact Simontalks!
*lol* Simon, you are funny!
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