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Top Ten Reasons Why Dinosaurs Went Extinct

Published by simon on October 11, 2005

For those of you regular readers who read yesterday’s post (yes, all two of you…), you might get the idea why I’m doing this today. Well, then again, maybe not…

Top Ten Reasons Why Dinosaurs Went Extinct

  • The Brontosaurus started experimenting with smoking coconut trees stuffed with tobacco, then it spread to all the other dinosaurs, and soon cancer wiped them out from the face of the earth.

  • Sex education was very poor during the pre-historic Jurassic Age.

  • Turf wars between the Clan of the Sabre-Toothed Warriors (led by the T-Rexes) against the Brotherhood of the Prehistoric Kings (headed by the Velociraptors) annihilated themselves out.

  • The Chinese fore-fathers during Emperor Shih Huang Ti’s time developed an intense liking for an exotic delicacy - dino testicles boiled with ginseng. Apparently, it improved men’s virility.

  • Exposure to the laser rays from the Ancient Astronauts spaceship made all the male dinosaurs sterile.

  • When Halley’s Comet passed by REALLY close 5 million years ago, all of them hopped onto it for a ride.

  • Turok hunted them and killed them all. (heheh, a inside joke for the old school guys…)

  • They didn’t really go extinct. Over the millions of years, they just mutated into mudskippers and cockroaches.

  • The REAL TRUTH: Dinosaurs were gay.

  • They committed mass suicide because they knew they would be worth US$70 per barrel one day.
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    Comments (19)
    1. egghead Said,

      I thought is because all the dino wanted to book a place in the British Museum and to be displayed for ages to come!

    2. consuela Said,

      hehe…
      a nice end to a really L-O-N-G day
      *i hate MONDAYS!*

    3. totoro Said,

      Turok roks! Actually played the game too. Sheesh.

    4. mahagurusia Said,

      Hey what happened to the theory of meteorite striking earth zillion moons ago, bringing with funny disease like cholera?

    5. Yvy Said,

      thank god barney survived!!! =P

    6. Yvy Said,

      *aiyak…forgot to run for cover!!!!*

    7. Shan Said,

      “The REAL TRUTH: Dinosaurs were gay.”

      OMG hahahahahahahaha - owchies my tummy hurts from laughing too much. Simon, stop being so funny. You’re gonna give me an injury.:D

    8. Inevitable Said,

      Haha … good one especially the last reason

    9. lilian Said,

      You know what? My kids often asked me, who created the dinosaur. So, I tembak lor, at first, God created dinosaurs. Then, dinosaurs were boring. So, God wiped them out and created stubborn kids like them.

    10. hedonistics Said,

      dinosaurs were almost impossible to house-train, thus they didn’t make good pets and so cavemen killed them because dinos were virtually useless.

    11. anjali* Said,

      wow. never thought dinasours are so selfless, to die for human. *sob*

    12. simon Said,

      egghead - but only *one* dino gets to be at the British Museum!

      consuela - hmmm… monday there is already tuesday here…

      turok - never played the game. only read the comic…

      mahagurusia - maybe dinos are immune to cholera. Cancer yes, but cholera maybe not…

      yvy - oooh… that’s it… the barney lovers are coming for you.

      shan - it could be true, you know… :)

      inevitable - the last one is the most important one!

      lilian - more useful parenting tips from lilian!!! :P

      hedonistic - not true. have you watched Flintstones?

      anjali - sad truth of life, really…

    13. CLF Said,

      # They committed mass suicide because they knew they would be worth US$70 per barrel one day.

      LMAO!! Simon you always think of something damn funny that normal people cant think of!! GOOD JON!! d(^__^)

    14. Sharl612 Said,

      When Halley’s Comet passed by REALLY close 5 million years ago, all of them hopped onto it for a ride.

      The meteorite theory is taking a twist here. *lol*

    15. simon Said,

      CLF - that’s where it all comes from, man…

      sharl612 - comet and meteorite different one ma…! :)

    16. Alex Said,

      I think it’s because of the unadulterated, 100% pure cannabis plant in the very beginning. Herbivorous dinosaurs fed on them, got high, and developed enough strength to fight the carnivorous ones. Like in err..gladiator fights. Fight to death! Yahoo!

    17. 93~94 Said,

      Not Ultraman mei?

    18. gay dude Said,

      lol this is well funny omg dinos being gay

    19. metronidazole Said,

      metronidazole…

      news…

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