PPS Sudah Bertukar Wajah! (PPS Has A New Look!)

Yes, it’s here, it’s finally here! Aiz promised us a PPS surprise for our National Day and its all there to see! Sneaky guy, timing it to take effect at the stroke of midnight! And the secret project that he has been working all along (although he showed it to some of us earlier) is actually the PPS Directory…

It looks fabulous, Aiz. And nice colour

And now in BM:

Sula mali lor! PPS punye muka angkat (face lift)! Sempena dengan hali kebangsaan, dan siap untuk dilihat! Manyak pandai ini Aiz punye olang, ngam ngam duabelas malam dia timing… Lagi itu projek rahsia nampaknya adalah senarai belog…

Betol-betol chun, la Aiz. Biru itu menawan…

Simon Terikut-Ikut Dan Berbelog Dalam Bahasa Malaysia

(This post is part of the ‘thing’ that Malaysian bloggers are all blogging in our Bahasa Malaysia for the National Day celebrations. So to all readers, that do not understand, my apologies, normal service will resume tomorrow)

Ya, nampaknya Simon dari ‘simon bercakap’ (simon talks) juga terikut-ikut dan melompat atas kenderaan punggahan barangan (jumping on the bandwagon) dengan membelog dalam BM. Lintasan fikiran pertama simon ialah bahawa penguasaan bahasa kebangsaan simon telah pergi ke anjing-anjing (gone to the dogs).

Tidak kasih, kata simon (in the trend of referring to yourself in third person), kita mesti berikhtiar untuk menghabiskan belog ini, walaupun Perkataan LembutKecil (Microsoft Word) kepunyaan simon suda merah dengan kesalahan-kesalahan ejaan akibat Penyemak Ejaan (Spell Checker).

Nampaknya sewenang-wenangnya simon sudah sampia perenggan ketiga! Nampaknya tidak susah, apatah lagi teraan TekanPerkataan (WordPress layout) senang digunakan.

Kolu anda berminat, bacalah kiriman-kiriman (postings) oleh kawan-kawan simon yang juga pandai kelentong dan bercakap najis (talk crap).

Kepakz
Pesen Asia

Saya kata orang, (‘I say man’) nampaknya dua saja. Ataupun, anda boleh lawat

http://www.merdekablogger.org

Sekian, terima kasih!

Simon Sees a Walking Clownfish

OMG.

I just saw a red clownfish walking dugong mermaid merman. With a yellow breathalyzer. A androgynous one at it. Gotta see it to ‘appreciate’ it.

You can tell it’s a slow day before the holiday.

P/S: On a side note, I see 5xmom’s sons have perfected that “stand-there-and-pretend-I’m-taking-you-photo-while-take-a-photo-of-that-gila-person” routine…

Merdeka: National Days of Some of Our Neighbours

We’re a day away from our 48th National Day. Or you could summarize it as follows (number in brackets show years of independence. Gee, I hope you figured that much yourselves…):

Malaysia – August 31, 1957 (48 years)
simon talks: “Damn proud to be a Malaysian.”

What about other Asian countries? Here’s what I gathered:

India – August 15, 1947 (58 years)
simon talks: “I remember Ben Kingsley as Gandhi…”

Singapore – August 9, 1965 (40 years)
simon talks: “Don’t go to JB or use the Causeway that weekend…”

Sri Lanka – Feb. 4, 1948 (57 years)
simon talks: “When will they just stop fighting?”

Bangladesh – March 26, 1971 (34 years)
simon talks: “probably Malaysia’s 4th largest ethnic group…”

Brunei – February 23, 1984 (21 years)
simon talks – “no petrol shortage here, that’s for sure…”

Myanmar – January 4, 1948 (57 years)
simon talks – “Free Aung San Suu Kyi!”

Cambodia – November 9, 1953 (52 years)
simon talks: “I need to watch Killing Fields again.”

China – October 1, 1949 (56 years)
simon talks – “its 56 years, or 5000 years, depending on how you look at it…”

East Timor – May 20, 2002 (3 years)
simon talks – “in Bahasa Indonesia, would that be Timor Timur…?”

Philipines – June 12, 1946 (59 years)
simon talks – “how many islands are there again…?”

Indonesia – August 17, 1945 (60 years)
simon talks – “I hate kretek. And the haze.”

Thailand – December 5, every year.
simon talks- “Err, they don’t have one. Something to do with the fact that they’ve never been colonized.”

For a comprehensive list of all the national days across the world, check out this Wiki.

Top Ten Signs Your Political Career is Over After Losing The Party Presidential Elections

Top Ten Signs Your Political Career is Over After Losing The Party Presidential Electionsby Simon, who contested and lost the Pemudi MCA VP post some years ago…

• Twenty years later, you’re still deputy party president.

• You keep hearing your supporters and voters say they ‘bet on the wrong horse’.

• You’re not invited to a single birthday / anniversary / fundraiser dinner at the Chinese restaurant this weekend.

• Membership form for the “Retired Deputy President Club – Malaysian Chapter” arrives in the mail.

• The party spokesperson keeps using the phrase ‘time to blood younger leaders’ and ‘the delegates have spoken’.

• Your right hand man and supporters openly announce that they are ‘ready to work with the new leadership’.

• You lose your deposit in the election.

• The party chairman / election secretary has to refer at the tele-prompter because he keeps forgetting your name.

• Two days after losing the party presidential elections, your face disappears from the newspapers – forever.

• You’re offered the post of ‘party adviser’.

Memories of Merdeka

We’re a few days before our Hari Kemerdekaan (48th National Day). It falls on Wednesday this week, a lot of people are taking Monday and Tuesday off to continue their holiday from school holidays.

When we were young, we would never fail to watch the national day parade on telly, usually starting early in the morning. This was years ago, when we only had two TV channels to watch (and one of which was totally un-watchable). No Astro, no private TV channels, no DVDs. Those days every year they had it in that court house road in KL, I can’t remember the name.

The cabinet ministers with our PM would be there in their dark blue uniforms and caps (according to Lat, there was a punch clock at the back of the podium), clapping politely at every single moving thing, in the meantime probably sweating gallons in the stifling heat. Then on parade on the road were the military, the police, flag-waving school kids in their shiny new national costumes (those poor suffering KL school kids), government departments, and lots of other uniformed groups and marching bands (‘march past’).

Then on the field, there would be fan dances, rhythmic gymnastics (where they form patriotic words and giant flags which the cabinet ministers have no way of seeing) and other traditional dances. In between there would be helicopters and military airplanes and parachutes (to the support of the spectators screaming hysterically).

My parents were both government servants, and their departments would participate in the district level national day celebrations and parade at our local stadium. Miraculously, every year both my parents managed to get out of participating (each department were required to send one or two reps only, usually the most junior staff), usually not without much effort. Except one year my mom had to go. And that year it rained. Heavily. All I remember was her coming back and telling us that while everyone sang ‘Negaraku’ the national anthem (old version), the flag went up the pole soaking wet clinging to the pole in a lump. Did I mention everyone was standing on the field under the rain?

These days, most of my friends and colleagues can’t wait for Wednesday to take a break from work. For me these past few months have been incredibly hectic without any rest (regular readers will be able to tell from my blog). So come Wednesday, I’d probably sleep in, read the papers in relative peace, eat a late brunch, run a few miles and read a few chapters of Gaiman. And if there isn’t anything else to watch on the idiot box, I my catch the national day parade in Putrajaya.

Top Ten Things To Do When Your Internet Connection is Down

Top Ten Things To Do When Your Internet Connection is Down

• Read your snail mail piling up on your desk.
  

• Remove all the junk pinned to you cubicle partition wall over the years – 1997 office memos, Dilbert comic strips (photocopied from In.Tech), takeaway menu from Domino’s/Ah Heng packed lunch, list national public holidays, advertisement for gym club membership, etc.
  

• Separate your trash into the three main categories for recycling – junk food plastic wrappers, finger nail clippings and bio-degradable left-over food.
  

• Do some REAL work for a change?
  

• See who among your colleagues can flick a paperclip the furthest.
  

• Launch 200 paper airplanes from the window of the 25th floor of your office.
  

• Challenge your colleagues to an exhilarating game of networked Hearts.
  

• Get to know that guy that has been sitting next to your cubicle – for the last 3 years.
  

• Play Minesweeper.
  

• I dunno, like, read a book?

EPL Predictions and Awards

So footie fever is on us again. So I’m doing a kind of an EPL award thing. We all know Chelsea’s the richest team, and Wigan has the shortest history, and all that, right? Well, here are more predictions you may or may not have heard about.

Team which will feature in the least number of live telecasts this season:
Sunderland. Second is Fulham, followed by West Brom.

Manager most likely to get into a verbal fight with another manager
Arsene Wenger. Second place is Sir Alex Ferguson. Third will be Mourinho, against every other manager in the league.

Team which most likely have players moaning about squad rotation
Tottenham. Second place is Newcastle. Third would be Chelsea.

Manager most likely to complain about disallowed goal / unfair penalty
David O’Leary (Aston Villa), Sam Allardyce (Bolton), Alex Ferguson (Man U).

Players most likely to talk about retirement (again) this season
Alan Shearer (Newcastle), Dennis Bergkamp (Arsenal), Roy Keane (Man U).

Player most unlikely to appear on the cover of FourFourTwo magazine
Ivan Campo (Bolton), Danny Mills (Man City) and Dwight Yorke (I can’t even remember who he plays for now).

Players most likely to be red carded at some point this season
Mikael Silvestre (Man U), Ashley Cole (Arsenal), Lucas Neill (Blackburn), Robbie Savage (Birmingham).

Players most likely to get injured at some point this season
Freddie Ljungberg (Arsenal), Louis Saha (Man U), Harry Kewell (Liverpool)

Average number of chewing gum sticks Sir Alex Ferguson goes through in one match
11. If for Champions League match, then 17.

Team not likely to score the most goals in the league
West Brom, Everton, Portsmouth.


Manager most likely to wear shorts on the sidelines
Mick McCarthy (Sunderland)

Players most likely to get substituted in the second half
Arjen Robben (Chelsea), Tiago (Chelsea), Didier Drogba (Chelsea).

Player most likely to come on as substitute in the second half
Joe Cole (Chelsea), Wayne Bridge (Chelsea), Shaun Wright-Phillips (Chelsea)

Players most likely to be loaned out during the January transfer window
Craig Bellamy, half of Tottenham’s midfielders, a few of Chelsea’s millionaire substitutes.

Players most likely NOT to play much this season
Geremi (Chelsea), Carlo Cudicini (Chelsea), Carvalho (Chelsea).

Top Ten MORE Things I Learnt While Watching Desperate Housewives

It’s been a slow week. Plus today’s Wednesday, so it’s that time of the week again. For those who missed it, check out my earlier postings about this show here and here. Can’t wait for the weekend.

Top Ten MORE Things I Learnt While Watching Desperate Housewives

• Women outnumber men 4 to 1 in America.

• Flashing your cleavage on prime time TV soap is a surefire way of getting on Oprah.

• Everyone can come up with meaningful one-liners and exit lines at the right time.

• Divorced ex-spouses (not featured in the show) are usually jerks / tramps / bad parents / going through mid-life crisis.

• People leave guns and stacks of money lying around in their kitchen cabinets.

• You can commit a heinous crime like arson / hit & run murder / grand theft and still get away with it, because you’re a main character and therefore automatically qualifies you for ‘good-guy’ immunity.

• Everyone can afford a luxury single-bed hospital room when they are sick or run down by a car. And the hospital always have a room available. Unlike here in Malaysia.

• The grass is always greener on the lawn of the house on TV.

• On the average, per episode, there are two shocking revelations, one tearful / heart-wrenching scene, two quite funny / humorous situations and one lovey-dovey declaration by one of the lead characters.

• Some bloggers who have no life spend their evenings watching Desperate Housewives.

More in the series by Simon…

Top Ten Things I Learnt Watching Desperate Housewives
Top Ten Things YOu WON’T Hear in the Next Episode of Desperate Housewives.

Check it out, RSS feeds Aggregator for PPS!

I got an interesting piece of news in the morning, PPS has launch a prelim version of its feeds aggregator.

Click here to check it out.

It has a few cool features that a lot of bloggers and readers have been asking for – categorization, filters, opml feeds, etc.

Don’t want to miss a single post by simontalks your fav blogger? Tired of pings by bloggers you dislike? Use PPS RSS!

Its still in beta, so some problems may crop up. Go there now, and check it out.