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Top Ten Things NOT to Do When You’re Lost while Jungle Trekking

June 10, 2005

Top Ten Things NOT to Do When You’re Lost while Jungle Trekking by Simon (NOT speaking from experience…)

  • Drain out your phone battery trying to call Domino’s Pizza all night because you are hungry.
  • “Oh, yeah? You think you’re a TIGER means you’re the king of the jungle eh? BRING IT ON, FAT CAT!!!!”.
  • Try to emulate anything MacGyver ever did. It ain’t gonna work here, man.
  • “We’re saved! That lion from ‘Madagascar’ is here to save us! Woo-hoo!”
  • Freak out in the jungle just because you didn’t join the Pengakap (Boy Scouts) when you were young because you thought the Chess Club was so much cooler.
  • “Don’t worry! We must stay right here! I just got a coded message from the mother ship, they are coming to rescue us with their tractor beam!”
  • Try to use the ‘Force’ to find your way out.
  • “Since we are all gonna die here anyway, let’s share with one another who our favourite Backstreet Boy is…”
  • “Trust me, I can find the way out. I watch a lot of adventure movies. Follow the sun. It will set in the North and we will survive by eating all these brown ‘cream’ on the ground…”

  • Don’t piss off the monkeys. Have you ever watched Planet of the Apes?



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23 Comments

  • keng 坑

    June 10, 2005 at 9:34 pm Reply

    …and don’t mention to your trekking mates about some sensitive terms such as Anaconda, Dead End, Wrong Turn, I Know What You Did Yesterday (or Last Raya, XXX, whatever..)

  • Simon

    June 10, 2005 at 10:02 pm Reply

    james – that AJ sure looks good in tight pants… OMG did i just say that?!

    cyber red – but chess club is so much cooler!

    nsds3 – i say, sorry captain picard…

    pat – guess wat, i mention it to him again at lunch, he started curling up in foetal position…

    anjali – true, but most ppl think duran duran is some kind of local fruit…

    fredy – sure. but i promise emperor palpy i won’t use it too often.

    coppersnare – of course everyone knows the sun sets in putrajaya… ooops…

    keng – then i’ll be the first to get killed!

    jfe 8555 – install gps ler…

  • twinsmom

    June 10, 2005 at 10:42 pm Reply

    I think if not because they found all the boys, you would blog about it in this “top ten” way right? but have to say again, you si-beh creative, bet you not in creative line, because usually those in creative line, after work they drain liao.

  • Simon

    June 11, 2005 at 12:40 am Reply

    twinsmom – i’m quite relieved they found the boys. One of my good friends was lost with another girl in Gunung Angsi for more than half a day in 2003 (he is mentioned again in today’s Star in conjunction with the 2 current cases). We were very, very worried, the church spent the night in prayer until 2 in the morning… was finally found, no damages… it happened 2 days after my 2nd kid was born.

    Anyways, today he can look back and smile about it…so this post was kinda written for him…

    You’re right. My job is one of the most un-creative in the country.

  • 5xmom

    June 11, 2005 at 12:55 am Reply

    Yo Simon, know what? The first blog I read after I returned is yours!

    Not sure why, after reading yours, I got into faith blogging. The boys adventure in the jungle somehow strengthen my faith. When I saw the interview with the Imam, I can see God’s intervention. It seems that there is no religious differences in each of us but only the Almighty helping us all, regardless.

  • twinsmom

    June 11, 2005 at 11:01 am Reply

    err…I just found I made a mistake on my previous comment:P–I think if not because they found all the boys, you would blog about it in this “top ten” way right?
    it supposed to be — I think if not because they found all the boys, you wouldn’t blog about it in this “top ten” way right?

    Sorry Simon, I think I made you confused liao :P.

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