It’s one of those end of the year things, i suppose. Ah well, 17 days to Christmas… Top Ten Things Simon Learnt in 2005 My Iswara actually now reach RM56 for one full tank. If you leave a plastic bottle on your dashboard under the Malaysian sun, then its bye-bye bottle. I have been watching re-run of ‘Friends’ for more than 11 years. I need a DVD player. 50,000 words for Nanowrimo is really difficult. But once you finish, it’s really satisfying. There are far too many reality show and medical investigation dramas on TV. Bush is funny. Not intentionally funny, but funny nonetheless. Malaysian Idol is predictable. Akademi Fantasia…

It looks like lots of people have burning questions about Christmas and Santa than me… judging from my previous post. So i’m dedicating today’s post to answering MORE questions. Really, its also becoz I have nothing else better to do… Why does Santa wear red a red suit?(question by lucia) It’s not red actually, it’s white. Due to excitement, his blood rushes out to his clothes. Why does he has a long white beard? (question by lucia) It’s not really his beard. Santa has a problem with excessive nose hair. How was Santa like when he was young? (question by Ken) Very Ho-Ho-Horny. Young boys, you know. How does Santa…

Simon is bored. SO, today, he’ll answer random questions about Christmas and the festive season. Apologies to Santa, elves and the tooth fairy. No offence meant. How come it doesn’t snow in Malaysia? Global warming. How come I never get to see Santa Claus flying around the sky on Christmas Eve night? Santa uses a cloaking device. If Malaysian houses have no chimneys, how does Santa get into our homes to distrbute presents? Using master keys, plus some useful skills he picked up from prison, and a circular blade saw. Is Rudolph a real reindeer? Why is his nose red? No he’s a mutant kancil with fake antlers. His red…

Hah, i saw this meme floating around, and even though no one tagged me, I’m doing it nonetheless. Yeah, life as a third rate blogger is pretty sad, sometimes. I think the meme has something to do with memories of food from your childhood, so here goes: Mee Siput – Boo yeah! this stuff rocks! I never seen it since i left me hometown, but a few years ago, my brother bought it somewhere in the city. It’s crunchy stuff, looks like Muruku, but it’s brown and has sort of like bubbles on. i used to buy one on the way home from school everyday for 10sen from the Indian…

I’ve been travelling a lot. It tells, doesn’t it? Top Ten Thngs You May (or May Not) Notice When Your Traveling On the North South Highway Most drivers break the speed limit. Some drivers even break the concorde speed limit. The accepted lane convention for Malaysian 3 lane-highways : Left lane is for anything slower than 110km/h (buses, lorries, old cars, me). Middle lane is for constant speed of 110km/h (move any slower, please move to the left lane). Right lane has no speed limit. If you’re on that lane, be prepared to be flashed down by the black CLK doing 168km/h. Express buses can speed pretty darn fast, too.…

December is on us, without most of us even knowing it. There’s less than 30 days left in the year, with means that Christmas is no more than 4 weeks away. Woo-hoo! Christmas usually means one important thing for courting couples – Christmas presents. Let’s face it, buying prezzies is a tough one to call. Getting that right present she likes, at a price that won’t puncture your wallet (or make you eat Hi-5 bread for dinner for the whole of January). Sometimes, you think you’ve found the right present, but for some strange reason, she doesn’t like it… sigh… Anyway, here are some popular ones most guys go for…

Short one today. Something about observing other drivers. Tomorrow I might continue the movies-that-never-made-it-here post (see this one). Or maybe actually do the ‘Why there is no CSI:Malaysia’ post (as recommended by nadia…) Then again, maybe not… Let’s face it – there are too many cars on the city roads these days. Far too many. Even in small towns, the traffic jams are horrendous, but not as bad as KL on weekdays. Just look around you during peak hour traffic jams: almost every car is empty except for the driver. I spend a lot of time observing other drivers (during jams, not while cruising 105km/h on the Kesas highway) and…

Hah, year end, and I bet I’ll be seeing all these ‘Best Movies of 2005’ articles everywhere. Well, here are some obscure Hollywood movies, that for some strange reasons, DID NOT make it to Malaysia this year: MR. & MR. Smith – Openly queer couple find out deep dark secrets about the other person. One of them discovers that the other person is actually a former member of the Village People back in the 70’s, the other Mr. Smith digs out a secret that his partner was one of the original members of the wildly fabulous “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy“. A bitter showdown takes place, hurtful words are…

Ah, December, the month we all love to hate, or hate to love, depending on who we ask. And i’m counting the days until my next holiday… Top Ten Things You’ll Bound to Hear in December “Mommy, Mommy, why is that Santa Claus sweating all over? I thought Christmas is supposed to have snow?” “Wow, I’ve watched Narnia 4 times already, I’m going to watch it again tonight!” OMG, my kids are driving me up the wall! How many more days until school reopens again?!” “Next year Chinese New Year fall on what day ah? How many days off do we get ah?” “Next year i’ll quit smoking… And this…

You know what year end brings, right? No, not Christmas snow, not bonuses, Chinese wedding dinners. And while waiting 1.5 hours for the dinner to start, or for the next round of dishes to come, people tend to talk a lot (especially after 2 glasses of red wine). So here are some things i’ve heard (or would like to hear…) Top Ten Things Heard in A Chinese Wedding Dinner “Yeah, the bride’s slim now, let’s see how she looks like after two Caesarians.” “OK, see that guy on the that table there? Next to the old man? That’s the bride ex-boyfriend lah! Last time almost got married one… And you…