I seem to have very few table calendars this year. By table calendar, I mean the those half A4 types that stand up, and you flip them over every month, not those A3 size ones where you hide your resume under it. Every year I usually get lots and lots of them for the past few years, from my suppliers, sub-contractors, bankers or anybody who thinks I’m a position to give them business (hah, how wrong they were!). Usually I get like 20, I pass them to my parents and my friends (yeah, maybe THEY can give these suppliers some business). Anyways, this year has been pretty squalid. I have…

Was at MATTA Fair over the weekend. This was my first time there, I was bracing for an mass of human bodies. It was packed alright. These people started parking their cars on the ramp leading to PWTC across Jalan Tun Razak. OMG, how kiasu can they be?! We got a parking spot easily at Hentian Putra. The thing about expos like MATTA Fair is that if you’re really into it, time flies like a bird when you’re there. We only covered like 50% of the 4 super-big halls and it was time for us to leave for another appointment. *** To get the most out of MATTA Fair, you…

Horrendous. Ghastly. If I’m being honest with you, it reminds me of a bad wedding band performance. Simon Cowell, well, he’s perennially nasty and unforgiving in the American Idol judges chair. Ever wonder why? I dunno, I have a few theories… Top Ten Reasons Why Simon Cowell is So Nasty On [tag]American Idol[/tag] Hot burning angst and frustration stemming from him unable to get [tag]Paula Abdul[/tag] to go out with him. He’s always insanely jealous that [tag]Ryan Seacrest[/tag] gets more camera time than him. And fan mail from the girls. Ryan Seacrest keeps babbling on and on, prolonging the taping of the show, thereby making Simon late for his favourite…

My friend likes to wear horizontal stripes. He isn’t pudgy or anything like that, he’s quite slim, actually. Not Kate Moss slim, but still not flabby either. More like [tag]Ryan Seacrest[/tag] slim. Or should I say Seacresty? Okay, fine, fine, I need to lay off watching too much [tag]American Idol[/tag]. Anyways, this guy I know always wear horizontal stripes. I see him once or twice a week, and he’s always sporting the same fashion. Not one outfit all the time, but different outfits, but they all look alike. We’re not talking thin stripes like a jailbird, but thick hoops like [tag]Dennis the Menace[/tag] (the British lad, not the American one).…

My neighbour has 3 dogs. If you think that’s a lot, get this. They used to have 5. Some of my other neighbours complained to the landlord, so they got rid of two of the uglier shaggier ones. I think they gave it to their friends, so there’s three remaining now. The three aren’t dogshow material either, they aren’t exactly the types you see on the cover of Alpo tins or on those dog food commercials. Before I go on, let me just say I love dogs, I grew up with two lovable mongrels. But the reason I don’t keep dogs now is that my house isn’t appropriate to rear…

First there was [tag]napster[/tag]. Then came [tag]Morpheus[/tag], [tag]Kazaa[/tag] and [tag]Grokster[/tag]. Now there’s [tag]BitTorent[/tag]. It’s really becoming big, some of my friends haven’t touched their DVDs and cable remote for months… Top Ten Signs You’ve Been Downloading Too Many Shows on BitTorrent You can’t remember how to operate your TV remote anymore. When your boss asks you to locate the invoice file from the cabinet, you first locate the ‘torrent’… You know small details like season 1 of Desperate Housewives has 22 episodes, 42 minutes per episode, 3.2GB in size, has 25 seeds, but can’t remember your girlfriend’s telephone number. When a software dealer asks you if you use more MS…

I’m busy reading this cool blog recently, Jay’s Malaysian Diary, by this 27-year old German university student. He’s in Malaysia for 6 months for an internship with Siemens, and I’m really digging all his posts… You got to like a German guy who thinks Malaysia is fabulous. Reading his posts inspired me to write a something about my fantastic grasp of German, (“ist Ihre Tochter 18 Jahre alt?”) but that would be later, i found another of Jay’s post i simply must write about now. Its sort of a meme, except it doesn’t propagate itself via tagging… so its not evil… but I’m turning into a meme-tag for the sake…

Back in my old school, they had a [tag]vending machine[/tag] next to the staff common room selling soft drinks. It dispensed the drinks in a paper cup, not the tin can version. Vending machines were quite a new thing back then, and all of us in school were quite proud of it. Some other schools had vending machines selling packet drinks, that wasn’t as cool as ours; ours had [tag]Coke[/tag], Orange Crush, and more importantly, [tag]Fanta Grape[/tag]. For some strange reason, Fanta Grape was far and away the most popular drink, it was always the first to sell out after they refill the machine. We could actually buy any kind…

My daughter has hundreds of colour pencils. And crayons and erasers, rulers, pencil boxes, colour pencils outnumber the by far. Everywhere I look, I see them lying around. They’re all different lengths, all coming originally from different boxsets, some given by people, some won at sand art contests. Kind of the same types of colour pencils I had when I was small. We had this steel pencil box (yes, they had steel pencil boxes on those days. Especially those ‘Oxford Instrument’ ones that originally contained a compass, a ruler, a set square and a jangkasudut…). We would put all our colour pencils in it. Speaking of colour pencils and other…

Remember back in school, on the last day of the term, after the exams are over, and everyone whips out their autograph books for their friends to sign. It doesn’t matter if you probably stay next door to your classmate and see him / her every other day, you still want their autograph. The thing about autograph books – they always a pink or blue or yellow, filled with pictures of fairies, pixies, flowers, seascape, meadow scenery, and all that projectile vomit inducing stuff. And the sick part is I can still remember all those saccharine sweet poems my friends loved to write. Drink hot coffee, drink hot tea, Burn…