People can have really weird and freaky hang-ups. What’s a hang-up? You know, you have to do a certain things a certain way for no specific reason. They just have to, don’t ask why. Or they CAN’T do a certain thing because of some personal ‘pantang‘ (taboo). For example, some people I know sleep only on the left side of the bed – no reason whatsoever. If they’re forced to sleep on the right side, they probably toss and turn all night and wake up like a zombie. Here are some more examples from people I know: My friends’ sister won’t enter a room if it has fluorescent light. She…

Wow, a lot more people are still interested in the alien phenomenon than I initially thought. After yesterday’s blog about alien abduction statistics, I did further research (google again) on the subject. This, coupled with the feedback from my regular readers (yes, all two of them) and a lifetime of research on TV alien shows, I managed to find out more interesting facts and statistics. (I must qualify that anything printed here is does not necessarily represent the views of this blogger. And I do not appreciate any mail from former alien abductees spamming me for making fun of their anal probe experiences…) Twinsmom was right. 76% of abductees are…

I’ve always been mildly fascinated by the alien phenomenon, even before the show X-Files came on telly. I read quite a few books on the subject, and the area that was especially intriguing was alien abduction. There are probably tens of thousands of documented cases, some credible and some, shall we say, less than credible. So today I took it upon myself to research this matter (read: I googled it). Without much strain on my mouse-hand, I dug up some interesting statistics from this site. Acording to them, these facts are ‘believed to be true’! (Err, what’s a definition of a ‘fact’?). Anyway, here is what they say, with my…

I just watched this McDonald’s advert on TV. It shows young guy smiling, with his tie loosened out and collar unbuttoned, holding his first paycheque (swaggering in Mont’Kiara). Then it shows his mother, his bills, and other things that he needs to pay. Then the ad ends with him holding a tray McDonald’s McSaver meal and smiling. The whole premise of the ad is that no matter what financial difficulties you’re facing, you can always afford a McSaver. (Side note: Nobody gets a paycheque as a salary, unless you’re a freelancer, trainee or outsourcee. We get a payslip, which usually holds no significance as it’s always late. The correct Malaysian…

In the ten years or so that I’ve been using the Net, the language of cyberspace has now been polluted with dirty words. So it is with much cynicism and world-weariedness Simon presents the Ten dirty words of the Internet: Spam – this would probably be the mother of all internet dirty words. Originally, it’s a brand of canned food in the US. But it has now evolved to mean unsolicited or junk e-mail. I get at least a dozen of these things everyday. How people can still hope to make money this way a beyond me. (See also Nigerian credit card scams, online poker, Male enhancement drugs, free online…

Hypothetically speaking, that is. To all my regular readers (yes, all two of you) you may have noticed I got an honourable mention in 5xmom’s blog here. Woo-hoo! The international fame! The big bucks! The paparazzi! The groupies! If you’re wondering, the blogs about the Sempit love story and HK television serials that 5xmom is talking about, you can check it out by clicking the links at the end of the article. Anyway, for those of you who still have not checked her out (no innuendo here, please), she writes some funny stuff about her sons and Penang life.I don’t read many blogs these days, maybe about 3 or 4…

When I first started working, I met with and mixed with a lot of friends who studied overseas. One thing that really bugged me then was how when we in a big group together, they would go, “I remember when I was studying in London / Melbourne / Boston / Sydney / Baghdad…” or “KLCC is nothing, that shopping center in London is SO much better…” Yeah right. Then they would ask me, “So where did you study? RMIT? Sheffield?” And I would reply, “No, locally…” Then they say “Oh…” while giving me that-“Oh, dear me, this poor Jakun…”-look. Yeah, well, I’m damn proud to have studied in Malaysia. But…

When I was in primary school (back in the dawn of time…) every year towards the end of the school term, after the final exams and report cards have been dealt with, the teachers had this form to fill where they asked each student their ‘ambitions’ – what they wanted to be when they grew up. I don’t know what was the real purpose of the whole exercise, to be honest. Probably it was purely for the benefit of teachers and parents. Parent could forever hold it against their child, “See, last time you wanted to be a lawyer, how come you ended being an unemployed blogger?!” Or perhaps the…

Simon’s Top Twelve Songs to Listen to When Life Sucks… May it Be by Enya You’ll See by Madonna Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day Fade to Black by Metallica White Flag by Dido Carrie by Europe Forever Young by Alphaville A Tout de la Monde by Megadeth Feel by Robbie Williams Through the Barricades by Spandau Ballet Rent by Pet Shop Boys Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton *Sigh*……I need an iPod…

(Due to mildly popular demand, I have written the sequel to my earlier Sempit: A Malaysian Love Story. If you haven’t read it, you can do so here.)Vijaya: Here we are in my father’s very large living room. He’ll be coming down than grand staircase anytime now… Ray, are you sure you want to go ahead with this? Raymond: As sure as the sun rises in the… in the… (mumbles to himself) “Dong…Nam…Sai…Pak”…east! As sure as the sun rises in the EAST I will confront your father about our love! Vijaya: I’m just afraid he’ll do something to you. He is a very hard man, darling. Raymond: What’s the worst…