Top Ten Signs This Won’t Be a Great Chinese New Year for You
- Your neighbour’s kids have stockpiled enough fireworks to burn down a small island republic.
- You’re over 35 and not married. And you have 37 uncles and aunties who are extremely paat (nosy).
- Your parents home, where you’re gonna spend a week there, has no Astro, no internet connection, no DVD player. Only RTM1 and 2.
- Since last week, your parents have been dropping heavy hints that they are expecting a 12-course Chinese New Year dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town (Guess who’s paying…?).
- Last time you were here, your neighbour, who’s a pirated DVD kingpin, promised to ‘do you in’ the next time you showed your face ‘in his town’. (Something to do with you ‘looking at his girl the wrong way‘).
- Your parents and family have all embarked on this weird vegetarian power diet through the New Year. The only rule – no meat, no carb. (which means no bak kua, no yee sang, no everything…)
- It’s only the first day of the New Year, and you’re looking forward to coming back to work.
- Everyone says that this year, at age 30, you no longer eligible for ang pows anymore. Damn.
- For the one week of Chinese New Year, 15 people staying in the small house. And one toilet.
8 Comments
inevitable
#11 – You are 30+ but still single with tonnes of nephews and nieces who bug you for angpau…
anjali*
10 good enough reasons why i decided to be out of the country during that time. Me very clever oso 🙂
JoeC
Dun care lor, just stuff yourself with lotsa cny cookies, my lil comfort in life, and lotsa fireworks too. Cheers!
SK
You’re absolutely hillarious, man!
Winner stays at the toilet, LOL!
Infectioner
#12 – Inflation
Shan
Owch the stopping of the angpows based on age has to hurt.
Double whammy of the oldies reminding you that not only are you still not married, but that you’re not getting paid – which usually softens the blow.
Shoppingmum
So what? My aunties still get ang pao after 50. As long as you have thick skin for it… 🙂
simon
ouch after 50 still getting angpow…?