Interview With The Award Winning Exemplary Malaysian

Reporter – Thank you, Studio 1, we are now live in Jalan P. Kandiasamy right here in the city. Together with me here, is a very special guest, Lee Tuck Keong, who, although many of you may not know who is it, but he is truly one of the great, exemplary Malaysian.

Ah Keong – … (mouth open, staring silently at the reporter’s mike)

Reporter – Now, we have heard of many feats of wonder by our fellow countrymen, like Azhar Yusoff, that two guys who climbed Everest, umm… sorry their names escape me at the moment, and Datuk Michelle Yeoh, but Ah Keong here also has a great achievement, don’t you, sir?

Ah Keong – … (still staring at the humongous mike)

Reporter – sir… sir?

Ah Keong – … ah?

Reporter – Never mind… anyway, Ah Keong here, is the first Malaysian to drive non-stop around the country in his trusty 20-year-old Proton Saga, from JB to…

Ah Keong – ah… my car Proton Iswala ah, not Proton Saga.

Reporter – Uh, Proton Iswara, on a 2,486km journey around Peninsula Malaysia. You want to tell the viewers about your trip, sir?

Ah Keong – ah, yah. I started in JB, hor, then go coastal road all the way to Melaka, PoLickson, PoKlang, Kolompo, Ipoh, Penang…

Reporter – So did you stop there?

Ah Keong – ah, no. Then from Penang, I drove to Golok, then Kota Bahru, Terengganu, Kuantan, Mersing, and then back to JB again lor. So I’m in the Malaysian Book of Records lor.

Reporter – wow, that is indeed an incredible feat, sir. So you drove non-stop for six days alone in your car?

Ah Keong – Ah yeah. But I got stop to pee. Four times a day ah. Most of the time at the shell station lor. They’ve got the cleanest toilet. Don’t try those coffeeshop toilets, man. Go inside can vomit one ah. Public toilets don’t need to say la.

Reporter – so did you also stop for food?

Ah Keong – ah only once a day lor. Most of the time I eat Jacob’s biscuit, but now got crumbs on my carseat. Then at night I sleep for about 4 hours in my car. Dam lot of mosquitos ah.

Reporter – that is truly amazing, and worthy for a Malaysian book of records entry. We’re running out of time, folks, but before we return to studio one, any last words for our viewers?

Ah Keong – Got, got. Melaka to Tampin trunk road, ah, slow down after the bridge ah, got speed trap one. Silver Honda Accord number 6635, Taiping, you drive LIKE CRAZY ONE AH? Simply OVERTAKE ONE!!! Some more don’t pump petrol at that station outside Gehbeng, they add kerosene one, engine knock like mad, ah. Some more don’t accept bonuslink one. Sekinchan Mat Rempit dam siao one ah, do that superman thing at 3 o’clock in the morning, walao, em chai si, man… Seberang Perai got one pasembor stall very good man, must line up to buy one. Kota Tinggi this apek…

Reporter – this is your roving reporter live from Jalan P. Kandiasamy, signing off and see you soon…

Ah Keong – wait, wait, I nearly kena road bully in Tumpat, ah… (camera fades out)

[tags]Malaysia, driving, drivers[/tags]