FAQ on doing Your $%&! Taxes

Okay, I’m taking a break from posting vacation pix to something more pressing…

April is known for many things – not least of all is tax time in Malaysia. Yep, it’s that time of the year again when we dig through our drawers for old receipts and lament over the amount of taxes we have to pay.

As it is, there are a few things to note. The Income Tax Dept, LHDN, is in their final stages of implementing the self assessment tax system. This does not mean you can decide to pay zero tax ringgit all by yourself, even though a lot of people would love that. Nope, it means you calculate everything in the form yourself, and file in the returns and mail the check (if you’re unlucky), keep the other documents like your EA form and receipts (for up to 5 years, I think.)

For those doing taxes for the first time, I’ve compiled an FAQ to help you out in this time of distress:

What’s the best and easiest way to do your taxes without problems?
Marry a tax accountant.

Failing that?
Suck up to one.

No, seriously. I really need help doing it!
OK, fine, most tax accountants I know don’t look like James Denton or Teri Hatcher, so the next best thing is… read the manual. No really, read it. I know it’s as exciting as watching old people eat, but it will usually answer most of your questions, even if you’re one of those category of taxpayers that ‘menderma harta karun kepada negara’ (donation buried treasures to gomen) or something like that.

But I can’t understand Bahasa Malaysia! I only know 3 words in BM, and they’re all unprintable.
Really? Which 3 words? Fret not. You can go to the LHDN website and download the English instructions.

I keep seeing this acronym PCB in my form. What does it stand for? Pussy Cat Babes?!
PCB = Printed Circuit Board, Persatuan Cuci Basikal, etc… No, it stands for ‘Potongan Caruman Bulanan’ or monthly scheduled deductions. Mystery solved. No pussycats involved.

How much taxes are we paying really?
Quite a lot, actually. Some people will tell you that in UK or US or Australia they pay like 33% or whatever, don’t pay any attention to them, they’re just bragging to you that they’re worked overseas while you’re here earning miniscule Ringgit Malaysia. Taxes are about 20-30%, depending on your income. If you’re a minimum wage coolie like me, you may not even have to pay taxes.

Speaking of minimum wage, do I need to file my returns even if I’m earning be low the minimum taxable amount?
Tell your boss you need a raise.

If I find out that I’ve been overpaying my taxes, can I get a rebate in a day or two?
Oh, yes, you’ll get a rebate, but I won’t wait by my post box in the next few days if I were you… ahem…

I heard that you can do your returns online?
Yep. Provided your Screamyx doesn’t screw up. But trust me, there’s no greater thrill than doing your taxes the old fashion way on the second last day and rushing to the department and joining the hysterical mass of last-minute Malaysians freaking out at the 3-mile long waiting line.

Plus, you may have a chance to make the front page of our ever-informative newspapers on the 1st of May.

What if I don’t file my taxes? What’ll happen?
I hope you like horizontal stripes…

I haven’t kept any of my receipts or insurance slips from the past year! What do I do?!
Pay through your nose for taxes, my friend. On TOP of your monthly deductions.