Top Ten Best Advice For New Parents from Simon the Battle-scarred…
- Baby poo stinks. Like, don’t get any of it on you.
- Remember when you could sleep peacefully through the night? Well, you can say goodbye to that now…
- Diapers cost a lot of money. And the problem is, the cheap brands are really crap.
- On your baby’s one-year old birthday, the grandparents will usually buy the baby walking shoes. At the same time also ask for Nike trainers in your size.
- When feeding babies, never face them directly. (Can you say ‘projectile’?)
- Burp the baby after food. Even if it takes an hour of patting. If not, you’ll see the food out again.
- When finally you have your own baby, you’ll realize how DIFFICULT IT IS!!!!
- Everytime you talk about your baby, your non-parent friends can find it very boring.
- You’ll also realize that when non-parents start giving free unwanted advice on childcare, it’s quite annoying.
- Childbirth is a very, very painful experience. And for the mother, too. (God, I never get tired of telling that joke!)
7 Comments
mudslinger
“You’ll also realize that when non-parents start giving free unwanted advice on childcare, it’s quite annoying.”
True, like they say, people always give the best parenting advice when they’re childless. Once you’re a mum with a screaming child in tow, you couldn’t care less about what Dr-so-and-so said about spanking kids.
And no, i don’t have kids yet. heh….
belacans
“Childbirth is a very, very painful experience. And for the mother, too. (God, I never get tired of telling that joke!)”
bwahahahaha! Kita sama geng! btw, i just plugged you. oh man… that sounds so gay!
mama22beas
Another great advises from Simon…especially the last one. I’m definitely not laughing, though!
Reta
maybe Simon dear has had a baby too =)
yuin
thats why we all love our parents so much 🙂
MengZ
Haha…my house got a new baby too.
my niece.
simon
mudslinger – doctors i dun mind, coz they’re qualified. What i tak boleh tahan is those unmarried auntie & ah pohs who give advice freely whereas they haven’t spent more than 10 minutes with a kid…!
belacans – wah! i got nursery rhyme now!
mama22beas – 🙂
reta – yes, it was a very distressing experience, just like the movie ‘Junior’.
yuin – true, true.
mengz – training period for you?