When Simon Is Let Loose In The Arcade…

The other day I decided to drop by this new shopping mall somewhere in KL. Shopping malls tend to be the same all over the Klang Valley, with the same franchise shops repeated everywhere. But this one had a family arcade. So while my kids knocked themselves out on the cheesy rides and games (here’s the trick - you don’t tell them that you need the token for it to work), Simon was let loose on his digital camera…

It’s interesting what you can see in a kiddie amusement arcade, especially when you’re bored.

Below: EAT YOUR HEART OUT, Superman…!!! Check out the orange cheek dimples, man. Not to mention pieces of tissue paper stuck to his face. What’s the matter, cut yourself while shaving?

Below: Wah, world fever going on here, man… “Okay, macha, this next match is going to be the final, i take Italy, you take %&$^% Peranchis… Hand kenot cross the halfway line ah?” “Dei, i thought this was ‘Exciting Speed Hockey’?” Er, hallo, this arcade only for children only la…

Below: See?

Below: Okay, this is far better than Superman or X-men, lah. It’s the NEW Superhero team coming from Japan…”Junk Food Team Lambah One!” From left: GARDENIA Boy, Super-BurgerFace, Cookie-Man (with Watchmen logo some more...), Teletubbie-Jumpsuit-Girl and on the far right (slightly obscured), Tebuan Hitam (’Blackbee‘).

Below: And this is the five members of the superhero team in action. Wow, they look sad and tired. Seems like its been a long time since their last gig, and times have been hard for over-the-hill superheros… they’re resorted to playing in a roadside band to make the rent… so sad… But Teletubbie-Jumpsuit-Girl looks cute, no?

Below: This last one is even sadder. From Japanese cultural icon and symbol of world freedom to … this…

Technorati Tags: superman, ultraman

Top Ten Rejected Villians For Superhero Movies

A comic-book superhero is truly defined by the villians he or she faces. A top vigilante like Batman has an impressive rogue’s gallery - man-Bat, Ras-ah-Ghul, Joker, Penguin, et al. Superman has Lex Luthor in his new movie (and a few of the old ones). These days its not enough to have fat aliens in rubber suits to stomp on downtown New York…

Here’s some rejected villian ideas for some of our comic-book heros. SOme of them would have been good, though…

Top Ten Rejected Villians For Superhero Movies

• C!ALiSa and V10xxBoy, the King and Queen of Vicious Internet Spammers ™.

• Mucous Man

• Smiley Joe, your friendly neighbourhood direct-selling / insurance / children books / discount card salesman.

• Ullrika, the gold-card wielding Football Widow.

• Johnny LongNeck, the Upskirt Camera Phone Pervert.

• PMS Girl.

• Darth Vadir, Dark Lord of the Sitiawan.

• Govindaraj, the queue number-selling security guard at the Immigration Department.

• Super-B.O.-Man.

• George W. Bush.

Technorati Tags: comics, comicbook, Superhero, Superman, Lex Luthor, movies

Top Ten Reasons Why We’re Not That Excited About The New Superman Movie

Superman is back in town. New guy, new-look suit, new director. But after one too many superhero movies in recent years, they all tend to lose the huge impact of a summer blockbuster. I haven’t watch the film, but I reckon it’s probably going to be good, but somehow I can’t help feeling jaded about another Superman movie. So who’s next? Ghost Rider? Flash? Johnny Bravo?

Top Ten Reasons Why We’re Not That Excited About The New Superman Movie

• Super-strength? Seen it - Incredible Hulk. Able to fly? Seen it – Storm. X-ray vision? Seen it (No pun intended) – okay fine, no other superhero has that, except those guys that work at the airport security…

• When was the last time you got excited over seeing a guy dressed in blue and red spandex in public? (Not to mention the… okay, okay, we won’t mention the ‘wearing the under outside his pants’ joke…)

• No Kristin Kreuk.

• If not for his X-ray vision (which scares the bejasus out of the girls), he’d probably be a two-bit X-men side character, somewhere between Cable and Nightcrawler.

• My mom always told me never to trust a guy that dies and comes back to life. Especially an alien weirdo that dies and comes back to life.

• No Kristin Kreuk.

• Lex Luthor is such an unspectacular bad guy. Give us a 8-tentacled man-machine or a shape-shifting naked blue chick then we can talk.

• Maybe Superman should be doing more to save the earth, like patching the home in the ozone layer and catching illegal loggers. Like Captain Planet! Yeah, talk about a REAL superhero!

• Did we mention no Kristin Kreuk?
  

  (pic taken from wikipedia.)

• Because we remember the disasters that were Superman III (“Superman Meets Female Robot”) and Superman IV (“Superman Goes To The Moon!”)

Technorati Tags: Kristin Kreuk, Superman, Superman Returns, Brandon Routh, Lex Luthor

I Say Man, England and Brazil Out Already Ah…

Sunday morning must have been a double jeopardy for some punters I know – both Brazil and England crashed out of the World Cup quarterfinals. For most of the ‘I support England’ girls I know, it must be heartbreaking to see the Three Lions lose, especially to less than good looking Portugal (‘aiyah, only that Luis Figo look handsome, but so old already, the rest all look like kheh-leh-feh, one…’). The best quote I heard this morning was “eh, how come Ronaldo play for Portugal one, my friend bluff me say he play for Brazil one…”

Anyway, all these girls will quietly go back to their everyday lives for the next 4 years and only come alive in Soth Africa 2010, asking, ‘eh, what happened to Beckham, ah? Not playing anymore ah?’.

Brazil’s loss, well, it wasn’t all that bad, they were on a humongously bad night. It’s just that all those kaki bangku gamblers must have had a shock when they lost to ‘lowly’ France. I remember 4 years ago during KoreaJapan 2002, upon hearing Brazil beating China 4-0 in a group match, my elderly auntie (who doesn’t even know how many players are there in the team, let alone watch footie) jumped for joy, saying she won RM50. When I asked her if she supported Brazil, she just replied, ‘no lah, I dunno wan, my uncle’s neighbour’s 4D bookie asked me to bet on Brazil, say they sure win one, so I followlah…”

Wow, I wonder if Sepp Blatter has heard this story or not.

So, looking at the semifinals, its gonna be Germany versus Italy, and Portugal versus France. Germany against Italy, yaaawwwwnnn… Okay, on any other day, I’d say Italy would win 1-0 (do the Italians know how to win any other way?) but crowd support might help Germany, but in the World Cup, the higher authorities dictate that home nation must go as far as possible to sustain hype and interest to maximize advertising dollars, (remember South Korea last time? Like hell they can beat Italy and Spain again…), so it might be a tough match. These Hong Kong bookie syndicates very powderful one, you know, dun play – play.

Maybe people should bet Italy to score the first goal, another bet that it’ll be in the first half. If you want to be adventurous, maybe another wager that Italy will get one player sent off in the second half. And if want to bet some more, maybe can try Michael Ballack vomiting on the sidelines at around the 80th minute.

The other semis is Portugal against France. Hmmm… let me call bookie for some tips before I comment further…

Technorati Tags: World Cup, football, England, bookies, Brazil, Germany, soccer, betting, Ballack