Top Ten Reasons Why Simon Cowell is So Nasty On American Idol
Published by simon on March 18, 2006Horrendous. Ghastly. If I’m being honest with you, it reminds me of a bad wedding band performance. Simon Cowell, well, he’s perennially nasty and unforgiving in the American Idol judges chair. Ever wonder why? I dunno, I have a few theories…
Top Ten Reasons Why Simon Cowell is So Nasty On American Idol
- Hot burning angst and frustration stemming from him unable to get Paula Abdul to go out with him.
- He’s always insanely jealous that Ryan Seacrest gets more camera time than him. And fan mail from the girls.
- Ryan Seacrest keeps babbling on and on, prolonging the taping of the show, thereby making Simon late for his favourite cabaret / karaoke session / cruise liner dinner performance right after that.
- None of the contestants ever sing his REAL favourite song, “YMCA” by the Village People.
- Simon Cowell’s Pet Peeve No #242: He just HATES the way Randy Jackson keeps using terms like ‘dawg’, ‘da bomb’, ‘pitchy’ and ‘worked it out’. Like, why can’t these people speak the Queen’s English like him?!
- Randy Jackson always swipes his complimentary soft drink.
- Paula Abdul’s spittle flies everywhere every time she speaks. And you know how Simon HATES getting his arms (and face) wet…
- Ryan Seacrest’s one-day stubble drives him crazy.
- In addition to black baby T-shirt in on too tight, his khaki pants pulled up too high, cutting off blood circulation to vital organs.
- It’s an open secret he had a woefully short unsuccessful singing career (as a glitzy glam rocker) during his idealistic youth, so you know what they say about failed singers being the worst music critics…
Technorati Tags: American Idol, Paula Abdul, Ryan Seacrest, Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson
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Do you want Simon Cowell on or off American Idol? Come and invite some friends to vote here
http://wipoll.com/wipol/?q=node/118
But I like Simon, the Simon Cow! He said things that I have hidden at the back of my mind and can’t find the words to express. Life is brutal, only Simon dare to tell it like it is. In fact, I watch American Idiots, I mean Idols because of Simon. Simon! Simon! Simon!
(forgive me, i just successfully shifted to a site 4 times my previous so I am a little high)
“In addition to black baby T-shirt in on too tight, his khaki pants pulled up too high, cutting off blood circulation to vital organs.”
ehhehehehe…. i like that one. but seriously??? i think simon cowell has pretty good ears… il divo not withstanding. -smirks-
That is the reason why people keep coming back for the show!! It is because of Simon, not those singers!
Since people watch American Idol for Simon because he’s got, um, limited blood circulation, how do you explain why people read your blog, “Simon”?
He defines the show. Change the judge, and it will not be american idol.
lilian - i’m so glad you like me!!!
zyrin - “good ears”? you mean they look cute, or he can listen well?
sheena - because they nothing else to do in the mornings between coffee and the toilet break.
narrowband & inevitable - haha. looks like a lot of ppl watch the show bcoz of him…
aiyoh simon … i thought you’d be there on my list for the course … tried to nudge you but couldn’t tell you outright!!!! freebie this one that got away
morning, sharon! i’ve sent you a mail…
“Hot burning angst and frustration stemming from him unable to get Paula Abdul to go out with him.”
Aiyo Simon Neophyte, give Simon Cowell some credit la. Paula Abdul!!?? *phooi*
Oi, I said Simon Cowell la. Dun la perasan. LOL.
I also watch the show coz of Simon Cowell. Not the dumbass singers and definately not because of dumbass Randy and trying-to-be-sweet-Paula.
It’s so obvious Simon is gagging to bed Paula. Talk about chemistry gone awry - that’s pretty much the main reason why I watch A.I.
hahaha. ur mean and funny. i think American Idol would be mundane without him. so, good for you Simon Cowell =)
anjali - well, it was either paula or ryan seacrest, so…
din - you know the thing with paula? she can’t say it out if a singer was bad.
shan - really? it’s obvious, innit? how he stares at her all the time?
chengsim - true, but i’m not as mean as cowell…
he can really shred them to bits.
The winner of AI gets to have to have a recording contract for 5 to 7 albums under Simon Cowell’s company. Surely he will want the best person to win. So he up the stakes by being so harsh. See how all of them really waits for his judgement? It’s his verdict that really counts for the show.
Awww but he’s a darling! Yeah he’s mean, but his opinion is the only one that matters. Usually when Randy and Paula speak I just go rolling my eyes, tune out and when Simon speaks, I perk up! *LOL* I like your list though, it brought a smile to my face (yes, quoting Paula there)
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Hola!
What do you think about Tokio Hotel? >:)
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