What? You’ve never watched [tag]American Idol[/tag]? Every week 20 million plus Americans and even more worldwide watch this show. 2 or 3 times a week.
So what’s it about?
It’s your school talentime contest. On a much bigger scale. It’s also a popularity contest. It’s also a study in demography and American race studies.
It starts with 6-7 weeks of auditions. Hundreds and thousands of wannabe singers, psychopaths, self delusional psychics, lonely cowboys, cross-dressing headcases come and try to impress the 3 judges. So, in short, you’re average American. So out of the 43 million people who audition, usually 200 people are selected to ‘go to Hollywood’.
Why ‘go to Hollywood’? I thought only aspiring actors and escort service girls ‘go to Hollywood’? Shouldn’t wannabe singers go to Motown? Or Cleveland, the home of rock ‘n roll? Or Graceland? Memphis?
Well, anyway, they really actually go to Hollywood. Then begin the Hollywood trials. Here for one week, they are put through another audition, group them up and make them sing as a group (where the cameras go all out to catch every bitchy comment, tantrum, catfight, raised eyebrow, hissy fit, psychological breakdown, and every other element that makes good TV) and sing a capella. Finally they are whittled down to 12 boys and 12 girls.
Then the judges jobs are over. From now on, the all power telcos (phone companies) of US take over. Viewers send in text messages or call in a hotline to vote their favourite singers. Every week 2 boys and 2 girls get kicked out amidst some touching montage with sentimental music and tears. Usually, the less hot-looking guys and tone deaf girls get kicked out first. The remaining 6 boys and girls go to that all important ‘final’.
In the so-called ‘final’, the contestants sing to a weekly theme, like “songs from moviesâ€, “songs from the 60’sâ€, “songs of Cheech and Chong†(to which either Cheech or Chong might appear as a guest judge). You get the picture. So every week, the singer with the lowest number of votes will get eliminated. So, the longer you stay in the competition, the more likely you stand to win a recording contract.
The last 2 contestants will contest in a glamourous grand finale, where every Tom, Dick and Harry who has appeared in the previous episodes or seasons will make a guest appearance and sing endlessly.
The winner wins a recording contract. And maybe, if you disown the show, you might even win a Grammy.
Speaking of the judges. There are 3 of them, Randy, Paula and Simon.
[tag]Randy Jackson[/tag] was once some recording guy, apparently he knows Whitney Houston, but not well enough to get her to appear as a guest judge. I suspect Randy has a limited English vocabulary, he can’t go one sentence without using one of the following words – ‘aight’, ‘dog’, ‘work it out’, ‘didn’t do it for me’, ‘bomb’. Recently he has also gone to lengths to agree with Simon (the judge, not THIS Simon). [tag]Paula Abdul[/tag], if you remember her, was a bit like the singer Lumidee in the new millennium. Don’t know who Lumidee is? Well, same goes for Paula. On this show, every week, every other contestant will touch Paula’s heart or own the stage or did a good job (insert your own Corey Clark innuendo here).
[tag]Simon Cowell[/tag] is the last judge, an English bloke with a fake sarcastic tongue. If you’re good, or even fabulous like Mariah Carey, he’ll say you’re ‘good’. If not, you’re ‘horrendous’, ‘cabaret’, ‘a disaster’, you get the picture. Ironically, Simon is the only judge who, in my opinion, has the closest judgement to what the viewers like.
The host is this smiley, stubble-faced guy called [tag]Ryan Seacrest[/tag]. Jay Leno thinks he’s gay, I dunno. He’s the only guy that knows how to put Simon Cowell in his place, so I like him.
20 Comments
yuin
hmm. I only usually watch the preliminaries. There’s something ironically hilarious watching people make a fool of themselves on national tv. After that it just gets boring.
anjali*
Good one, Simon! Was thinking of writing a post on AI5 too. Soon, perhaps. 🙂
Lian
Hey, what is the name of that Chinese dude that was so horrible he actually became popular?
simon
William Hung. I believe he just released his FOURTH studio album…
consuela
ahhh…american idol. do you have a favorite for this new season or can guess who will make it to the top 3?
I’m currently digging Chris Young & Ace Young for the guys; Lisa Tucker & Katharine McPhee for the chicas 🙂
simon
anjali* – quick! quick! i wanna read!
yuin – well, i think some of the bad singers are really planted by the producers. Good tv, you know…
consuela – Chris Daughtry is miles above the rest of the guys. as for the girls, paris and kinnik are my favs. and i can’t stand that brenna.
JC
some of the contestant make me laff..
but some really really talented..
the 3 judges sometimes teasing each other..
oh yeah..i like the host who always challenge simon..LOL
normally handsome guys r GAY tho! what a waste ah
Sashi
Ah, yes, that time of the year, innit?
I’m waiting for the top 12 to be confirmed before I start to blog about it, but for the time being, I agree with ya on Chris Daughtry – perhaps a rocker WILL win it this year, after Bo Bice’s close call last season.
But that Katharine McPhee is sure very the nice too… 😀
simon
JC – i think that thing with Ryan Seacrest is just a joke by Leno…
Sashi – bo bice should have won it!!! anyways i can get excited over the guys other than chris. The girls have quite some talent there…
Sashi
Oh, and you might be interested in this too:
Malaysian Idol takes a break
simon
very interesting! i wonder why? No sponsors? Not enough support from voters? Hmmm….
lilian
I love THAT Simon. Wish the other two judges give opinions like his. I like THIS Simon’s review too ‘cos I just started watching AI and am beginning to get addicted to it. Can’t remember the participants’ names yet. I only know that geeky, nerdy young boy with his two adoring parents don’t belong there. And that white hair guy looks like some p0rn star wannabe with that silver hair. However, that black guy with hair like Medusa is good. He got soul…
Sexymama
Simon Cowell is the only reason I watch American Idol. Paula Abdul is so patronizing and so is Randy.
anjali*
Awww…you hated Brenna? She’s gone, dude! Yay!
*evil laugh*
obeliskdee
Just like Survivor la, the first few seasons…VERY exciting, now wat season also I duno. All I know hot season like always in KL. I think American Idol 7, I wont be watching unless they put Michael Jackson as the judge.
zyrin
hehehe… an AI5 post already??? waaahh…
spot on the Chris rocker-dude. will sail right through to the finals, if you ask me.
and yeah, the girls are much more exciting than the guys in this season. and has anyone noticed how much *hotter* the girls are compared to the guys???
I think Simon Cowell makes more sense this season. I find myself agreeing with him on so many… comments… hmmm….
simon
lilian – aiyo, lilian, you got to start remembering their names lah…! 🙂
sexymama – and notice how much older paula looks this year?
anjali – serves her right. never be arrogant on the show. remember scott savol last season?
obeliskdee – survivor is total boring now man. i used to watch season 1 religiously. now its worse than a cheap gameshow. btw, MJ on idol would be interesting!!!
zyrin – well, i tahan so long without posting on AI5 oredi…!
Sexymama
Really?? I only noticed her boobs were much more exposed and pushed up 🙂
And Brenna’s booted out! Yay! She should’ve gone off the first week.
ADIPEX
Hi 😀
VIAGRA
Hi 😀