Yeah, we guys know the situation, you’ve just said something off the top of your head straight to your big mouth (with going through the brain), and your girlfriend is upset, she’s not talking to you for the next few days.
Plus her mother is giving you dirty looks, and her dad, well, he’s giving you the ‘oh, my poor boy, what foolish thing have you done?’ look…
Top Ten Things Not To Say To Your Girlfriend (Not Under ANY circumstances)
- When’s your birthday again?
- Before you ask, yes, you look fat in that dress.
- That’s the fourth piece of chicken wing you’ve eaten tonight. You’re really want to put on weight is it?
- You know what they say about horizontal stripes, right? Do you?
- Haha, my friend mistook you for my elder sister the other day.
- Never mind. You won’t understand, anyway.
- What’s wrong with you? And don’t say ‘nothing’.
- Quit whining, woman.
- I wonder where would I be now if I didn’t meet you.
- How much did that dress cost? Looks expensive.
As a bonus, today’s top ten list has two other items.
- Wow, your sister looks hot in that dress.
- You know what, you’re becoming more and more like your mom everyday.
35 Comments
kenny lee
another inspiring post!
wow…i did those often…
mudslinger
hahaha, you are so right!
lilian
Hahaha, the last one is inviting death!
S-Kay
This is what the BF would say to me :
* When’s your birthday again? Gotcha, you thought I forgot huh?
* Before you ask, yes, you look fat in that dress. Are you mad? If you look fat then I must look like a buffalo
* That’s the fourth piece of chicken wing you’ve eaten tonight. Can you leave me some?
* You know what they say about horizontal stripes, right? Do you?
Yvy
my goodness…this is the best way to commit suicide n get back at gf coz then gf is sure to get life for murder.
Shan
LOL! I can almost hear the bitchslap
*whapushhh*
BawangMerah
Ini sure, death wish la
simon
kenny lee – which one? 🙂
mudslinger – another public service by simontalks.
lilian – eheheh… so how many have you heard?
s-kay – ahem. your bf will say anything for homemade cards ans arsenal mugs… :PPP
yvy – whoa, your gf so violent aa?
shan – “why you…” *KEPIAK!!!*
bawangmerah – huahua… death wish… 🙂
Jeremy C
Very useful list…and agreed, the last one would definitely be the nail in the coffin…
Useless
This list is so funny, yet completely true. The sad thing is we, as men, get in trouble if we were to actually say any of these.. Even though they are 100% true!
GhOsT
When my gf likes to ask “Am I pretty?”
I will always tell her “Depends on who you compare with.”
yuin
the last one is a suicidal..unless of course her mum is elizabeth hurley or somehting…
mahagurusia
Guys, here’s something that is almost fail proof- Whatever questions are thrown at you, just say I love you and smile.
Eh… I am still alive today ain’t I? kekekeke……
anjali*
And what one’s not to say to the question “u lap me ah?”.
Great post, Simon 🙂
Yvy
wei simon……i’m straight lar (or maybe bi-curious lar) and i is girl u know? i got no gf, i got bf oni. lol =P
apalar u simon….*dun wan fren u liow*
rascher
grunt.
simon
JeremyC – i actually heard dat last one b4… not me of course.
Useless – well, anything to help me brothers…
ghost – OOOO-OOh… very thin ice there my fren…
yuin – even so, i doubt she will take it as a compliment. 🙂
mahagurusia – good tactic, but it will only last for a short while. then she get suspicious…
anjali – i got one fren who will answer “i lap u, u lap simen…”
yvy – eh soli hor? i thot someone else… i buy you ice-cream lor… dun be liddat la…
Yvy
hhmmm….oklar. *thinking what haagen daaz flavour ice cream i wan….*
simon
Haagen Daaz? For you, ANYTIME! I love that stuff!
S-Kay
Eh…ciplaklah…my comment kena potong setengah. Apa ni. Speaking of Haagen Daaz, I always get RM100 voucher from HSBC for those ice cream even though I prefer Basking over Haagen anytime.
Lian
This is a very good top 10. Since there are all kinds of tuition these days, maybe you should consider some “Simon kind of tuition” for guys too.
simon
s-kay – no wonder the comment so strange… what would bf have said?
lian – simon’s kind of tuition? “top ten reasons not to take tuition”…
Yvy
s-kay> wah!!! hsbc so nice to u??? must be u use their credit card sehaus-hausnyer…lol =P
simon> really arr??? ok sett!!! when u come to penang for jalan2 make sure u call me arr….janji mesti dikotakan. 😉
S-Kay
Simon : The last 6 points didn’t show up but nvmlah, I forgot it adi. I just modified yours and changed it to what my BF would’ve said. LOL
Yvy : Hahah. Tak payah guna sehaus-hausnya. My dad paling pro squeeze them for freebies. Just because he’s like their super loyal customer. We’ve been with them for over 20 years already and our loans are all with them so what’s vouchers for these kinda loyalty lah hor? =P I’m looking forward to free Memoirs of A Geisha premier tickets. Nyeh nyeh nyeh
pinky
haha
those tips are good
cash
lmao!!! dude, if yo a** is dumb enough to say those things to yo girl, then you need to go back to boot camp for the dating impaired
Cpt. Gurdles
Another thing that a girlfriend hates to hear:
“I bought another gun!”
Juno
xD I tell my girlfriend nothing of the sort she bites me if I get outta line;p
misé
Bullshit, tell her that stuff to keep her on her toes . women are well known for taking a mile when given an inch
one of those moms
Number one should be replaced wth what my daughters boyfriend stupidly said yesterday…..”Dude,I would so do her anytime!” when refering to an ex-class mate.
old guy
HA! you all don’t realize that if you say any of those she’ll not only do the dishes, she do you too!
the key is, you hav eto adore her and make sure she knows you do, and then when she’s feeling really Naughty, you say stuff like that to her. She’ll be happy for weeks. and so will you!
PROMISE!
william
why are you being sandy?
Mordecai
“Make me a sandwich.”
that usually goes over well.
John
Can i say my girl friend tat i ve got proposalsfrom other girls???
lilly
whats wrong with the last two on the main list?