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Top Ten Worst Things Your Doctor Can Say to You…

Published by on September 13, 2005

Again today you have to excuse Simon. He’s got a splitting headache from too many meetings.

Top Ten Worst Things Your Doctor Can Say to You…

  • “I won’t advise you to start watching any new mini-series on TV from now onwards…”

  • “Trust me. My medical degree from Azerbaijan may not be recognized in Malaysia, but I have watched every episode of ‘ER’, ‘CSI’ and ‘Chicago Hope’.”

  • “I really have no idea what’s wrong with you, but I can refer to a few specialist – Tok Guru Ayah Pin, Lilian Too, MD., and my own venerable sinseh…”

  • “Take these pills everyday, if you want to. Or not, I don’t care. Whatever, we all die sooner or later, life is meaningless…”

  • “You again? I must give you a Best Returning Customer Award.”

  • “Oh, good. You have life insurance. Better keep up those premiums, if I were you…”

  • “Relax, this is one of those problems your friends will laugh about when they hear about it. And they probably keep laughing about it for years…”

  • “You know, as your family physician, I can’t recommend black magic and voodoo enough, it’s really just quite misunderstood…”

  • “Whoa, this is definitely good news. At first I thought this was more of a RM50 problem, now this looks more and more like a RM200 jackpot problem…”

  • “Before you start, I just hope you can keep it short, I’m due to give a talk at the tobacco connoisseur’s club in half an hour.”
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    Comments (11)
    1. Inevitable Said,

      Nurse, call the ambulance now!

    2. lilian Said,

      IT IS SPELT WITH TWO LL, YOU MORON!!!!

      Hehehe, at last Simon writes something I understand and can laugh at.

    3. Sharl612 Said,

      I can relate to this ““You again? I must give you a Best Returning Customer Award.” ” *lol* And so,I started to see the nurse for medicine, just to avoid seeing doctor. Headache is no fun.

    4. mahagurusia Said,

      Time to run when your doctor says:
      1. What can I do to cure you?
      2. Do you think this medication will work for you?
      3. Why are you having this rashes?
      4. Wait, let me google it!
      5. Nurse! I told you to bring my stethoscope not my ipod!

    5. hedonistics Said,

      Another one:

      “Cure you? You must be kidding! If all my patients are fully cured then I don’t need to do business anymore lorh! As a doctor, I don’t aim to cure, I only want to make you feel *abit* better..”

    6. Pat Said,

      In the West, they advise you to stick to a regular doctor, but I find that impossible in KL. Each time you go to a clinic you see a different doctor. So you’re really not sure whether that doctor knows what’s been happening to you.

      Ah, the wonders of Malaysian healthcare.

    7. mama22beas Said,

      Yes, yes, yes…no blog about Desperate Housewives from Simon this morning. It is House, instead…hehe! Am I right?

    8. mudslinger Said,

      aiyah simon, where’s the DH post?
      nevermind…

      btw, you notice how doctors always ask you, “apa sakit?”. i mean isn’t it their job to tell you that? hehehe…

    9. simon Said,

      Inevitable – actually that happened to my friend…

      Lilian – oh, i’m sorry, that’s LILLIAN TOO…

      sharl612 – do you also wonder why in malaysia they call nurses as ‘misi’?

      mahagurusia & hedonistics – more! more!

      pat – i also find some doctors not really serious or understanding, considering the money we’re spending on them…

      mama22beas – actually i’m beginning to watch House now. My wife’s been following for a few weeks… quite funny la.

      mudslinger – dowan to do DH la… so many ppl complain one… :)

    10. Reta Said,

      hhahahhahahhaha *laughs at lillian*

    11. simon Said,

      heheh reta, i think Lilian Chan is tired of ppl mistaking her for LILLIAN TOO!

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