Some Headlines I’d Love To See

These few weeks we’ve been bombarded with lots of bad news in the press. I say, let’s celebrate to good along with the bad. I know bad news with catchy blurbs sell lots of newspapers, but here are some headlines I would love to see on my RSS newsfeed (but would probably not happen any time soon):

“Pikachu Dam Overflows with Too Much Water, Johor Flooded”

“Robber Trip and Break Teeth During Heist, Considering Legal Action
Against Shoelace Manufacturer”

“Osama Really Gay”

“Study Shows
Burgers and Fries Reduce Heart Risk”

“Govt reduces Excise Duty on Import
Car Models”

“Astro Apologizes for Crappy Services, Reduces Monthly
Rates”

“MIX FM DJ Finally Realises He Isn’t Funny At All”

“Football: Malaysia Finally Beat Brunei”

“Hillary: I Did not
Have Sex With That Pool Boy”

“New TV Spin-Off Coming : Kelantan Idol and
Survivor Berjaya Times Square”

“Abrahamovich Declared Bankrupt, Mourinho
Takes Over Wigan”

“Michael Jackson: Even I’m Sick of Me Already”

“Johor Boy Scores 14 F9’s for SPM, New National Record”

These would really perk me up in the morning!