I finally got to watch Desperate Housewives last night on Astro. My wife caught it last week on local TV, gave it good reviews, and some bloggers where just singing praises to it. Me? I spent enough time watching American TV to know you can’t judge a show on just a few episodes. But it was quite promising, and I can understand the hype it generated in the US when it first premiered. It cleverly uses a lot of tested clichés and plot devices to hook the viewers in and bring them back the following week. For those who didn’t catch it, it’s about 5 housewives who live in upper…

Everyone knows Harry Potter is from England. But where Hogwarts is located is still a great mystery. Well, I think it’s somewhere in Malaysia. And Harry Potter is actually Malaysian. Here’s ten reasons why. Top Ten Signs that Harry Potter & Hogwarts is in Malaysia by Simon (who used to be an acolyte in the Dark Arts): Only KTM can come out with something like Platform 9 ¾. Tortured house elves. Abused foreign maids. See the connection?! School kids spend more time eating junk food and pulling pranks rather than studying. Schoolbooks and supplies are so expensive we need gold galleon to buy them. Same in Malaysia. Hand phones have…

This post is for the London bombing victims. By and large, the average Malaysian has forgotten the incidents that took place a thousand miles away in a mat salleh country, putting it aside like yesterdays new (literally). But “while the sun goes down, the world goes by…”(I suppose the Scorps, while infamous for a lot other things, did one thing right with this song…) White Dove by the Scorpions A place without a name, under a burning skyThere’s no milk and honey here in the land of GodSomeone holds a sign, it says we are human, tooAnd while the sun goes down, the world goes byWhite dove, fly with the…

Top Ten Surprises You WON’T Find in the new Harry Potter Book (And other useless facts) by Simon: Harry Potter goes to National Service in Terengganu. And suffers from Quidditch withdrawal symptoms. And gets his ass kicked by Malaysian students. J.K. Rowling seriously considered introducing a new sulking, Chewbacca-like villain in this new 6th book. The working title? “Harry Potter and the Hairy Pouter”. Harry finally realizes Voldermort is just a cheap rip-off from other villains like Darth Vader, Sauron and the White Witch. Harry starts smoking pot in Hogswarts toilet. To boost sales of the overpriced and over hyped books, author is tying in with cheesy spin-off merchandising like…

Superhero movies seem to be big box office hits these days. Batman, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Spiderman, X-men, Elektra, MIB, Hellboy Super Sapiens, the list just goes on. There’ll be plenty more coming soon, if rumours are to be believed, including Ghost Rider. But back in the late 70’s to early 90’s, this wasn’t the case. Most movies studios wouldn’t touch superhero flicks with a ten-foot pole. The only notable one from that era was none other than Krypton’s Kal-El, a.k.a Clark Kent a.k.a. Superman. For some strange reasons the first two movies did exceptionally well against the grain of the genre, at the same time catapulting Christopher Reeves into the…

First off, I don’t have a Malay name. Neither do my relatives (I dunno, maybe it’s because I’m Chinese?) But I spent 16 years in Malay schools and university (17, if you include kindergarten…), I’ve befriended hundreds and hundreds of Malay friends and neighbours.And I’ve noticed trends come and go over the years when it comes to their names. But bear in mind this isn’t definitive, and dudes like MackZul can probably give a better account, but this is just my observation… GIRLSBorn BEFORE 1970’s: What my friend calls ‘kampung’ names, with short form – Zabedah (Bedah), Latifah (Tipah), Fatimah (Timah), Maimunah (Maimun), Aminah (Minah), Sharifah (Rifah? Pah?). Born DURING…

As I am blogging this, news of the London blast is slowing filtering in via cable TV, newsfeed, e-mails and blogs. Yesterday, London just won the right to host the 2012 Olympics. Then the G8 summit commenced. Today, London is shell-shocked and in mourning. Who is responsible and what their motives are is inconsequential at this juncture. What is more important is that an act of terrorism has taken place and human lives are lost. Terrorism today knows no religion, creed, race, political boundaries or anything tangible as that. In recent years, Muslim countries have been bombed, European targets have been attacked, non-aligned / peaceful / neutral Asian countries have…

Last I heard there are plenty of unemployed graduates out there. However, some jobs in Malaysia still stay unpopular for a variety of reasons, no matter what the economic situation the country is. (Disclaimer: Before I get spam from trade unions accusing me of deriding their profession, let me clarify that all I’m saying is that the jobs are UNPOPULAR, not BAD. Heck, I used to work in some of these jobs.)Top Ten Most Unpopular Jobs in Malaysia by Simon (who’s own job is only slightly less popular than these listed below…) External window cleaner for Twin Towers, KLCC. Male nurses. Credit card sales personnel in shopping centres. Portable toilet…

Top Ten Things Simon Does NOT Miss From The 80’s (But he remembers a lot of other good things…): Secondary school. Koir RTM singing something about good behaviour everyday before the 8pm news. Shoulder pads. Cumi dan Ciki. Death-defying minibuses ruling the roads in KL. Janet Ambrose. Crappy local TV stations. Margaret Thatcher. 6 hour journey from JB to KL on the trunk road. Radio Pendidikan. Back to main page.

It’s going to be a long & busy day, so a short post. It’s been 6 months now since the government implemented the chip credit card ruling. But until today, this huge, foreign petrol company has yet to install chip card readers at the pumps. Maybe they have, but all the stations across KlangValley that I have come across do not have them. So I have to line up behind the mat rempits (death bikers) who take 2 minutes deciding on which fag to buy. They have this guy in a mobile card reading machine going from pump to pump, but everytime I’m there, he’s either: Not there. Busy with…