You know what year end brings, right? No, not Christmas snow, not bonuses, Chinese wedding dinners. And while waiting 1.5 hours for the dinner to start, or for the next round of dishes to come, people tend to talk a lot (especially after 2 glasses of red wine). So here are some things i’ve heard (or would like to hear…)
Top Ten Things Heard in A Chinese Wedding Dinner
- “Yeah, the bride’s slim now, let’s see how she looks like after two Caesarians.”
- “OK, see that guy on the that table there? Next to the old man? That’s the bride ex-boyfriend lah! Last time almost got married one… And you know what else I heard…?”
- “Oh God, not another cheesy powerpoint presentation…!”
- “How can you eat shark’s fin soup? It’s so cruel…”
- “Wah, this is the third wedding dinner I’ve attended this month… pokai, man…”
- “What’s the next dish?”
- “Do you think the wedding cake is real?”
- “When is dinner starting? The invitation says 7.00pm sharp, it’s 8.30pm already!!”
- “Is Arsenal playing tonight? What’s the score?”
15 Comments
S-Kay
HAHA..the second last one. Nice one. I think if Mr.BF, terus sms his friend for score already!
Inevitable
Ahahaah … good punch line
rascher
Haha! I like the the dinner related ones.. are all too true!
Also when two people start advancing towards the stage with a slip of paper in hand, guests will go, “Singing ah, singing ah? That one on the right is the bride’s good friend in uni last time..” And the performers are all usually single people or really old men singing their blues away.
And another one I’ve always heard, “You knowlah, Malaysian time..”
Fashionasia
As the day is approacing, i’m soooooooooo afraid to hear things like……”the bride is so FAT” Grrrr…..
oh ya….and i HATE ppl who talks about the ex’s during ppls wedding……double GRRRRrrrrrrrr
Stan5088
Hahahaha.. I must show this to my fiancee. She is planning to show some powerpoint presentation during our wedding dinner next year. Hahahahaha
mahagurusia
Try this one – u think her’s is fake?
Sigh…. everyone is a critique these days 😐
Jeremy C
That 2nd last comment brought goosebumps…i nce missed a wedding dinner because Liv was playing ManU…couldn’t resist it…
Lian
Hahaha. Just attended my BIL’s wedding dinner. Didn’t hear anything coz’ I was too busy trying to avoid spilled cola and making many trips to the loo coz’ “Mommy, I need to wash hand”, “Mommy, I need to shee-shee.” Yalah, how not to shee-shee when the kids go berserk over free drinks. Simon, I think you should add all the sound effects of noisy kids in your list.
lucia
being a single lady who is not young anymore, what i heard most was: “when is your turn to invite me (for the wedding)?”
very irritating!
Zer0
Shit, the last one is darn funny.
I wonder if it got anything to do with Jessie Chung (or whatever his/her name is/was).
lilian
LOL, I hope this time no trannys come flame you. Or else, I can’t help you hor?
Gee, I am worried about attending my nephew’s wedding in Cyberlodge in Jan. He is a doctor in the IT line and his staffs read my blog.
“OMG! Dr. G, is that your auntie Lilian? Are you sure she is 5xmom? Is she like her blog? I think we better don’t go near her, she cuss in Hokkien, right?”
S-Kay
Fashionasia : Dun wanna hear ppl talk about the ex? Dun invite friends who gossips =P
simon
s-kay – wah, bf got live update kar? summore no need to pay subscription, i also want.
inevitable – too many wedding dinners, you know.
rascher – i miss those hokkien weddings with loud karaokes. then all thus putus cinta guys will be singing all the jiwa-jiwang songs.
fashionasia – that’s quite mean of them, frankly. but talking about the ex, i guess that’s inevitable, esp if the ex is present in the wedding…
stan0588 – eh, dun discourage her al, i’ve seen some very good ones, but nowadays some people use sophisticated progs like scalar or flash…
mahagurusia – oooh… dun’t say that in the wrong company… if the relatives hear, habis…
jeremy C – as tempted as i was, i always try to go for the wedding. football always got repeat, wedding dun have.
Lian – yeah. i know, coz i have to bring my kids to wedding. no babysitter ma.
lucia – yeah, i know how you feel. very, very de irritating.
zero – no, no connection whatsoever… its just a coincidence.
lilian – “yah, remember what auntie lilian say about you in her blog? hahahahaha….” then teruk man…
Alex
The 4th one is my line. haha. i dun say it tat way lar.. sounds too girlish. More like “sorry peeps, i’m for Greenpeace.” *Flashes badge* 🙂
Beer Brat
You can’t be more true about the “Wah, this is the third wedding dinner I’ve attended this month… pokai, man…â€
Just attended two in the weekend tat was. Major holes in my pocket.