Last Monday morning, exactly seven days ago, my brother went home to be with the Lord at about seven in the morning. He would have been forty this September.
He fought a short uphill battle against leukemia and chemotherapy, but lost the struggle in less than two short weeks. It was only last year that he endured the indignity of radiotherapy for cancer. I know, life sucks.
When i received the call, I was waiting on the waterfront of a foreign shore. I waited awhile to tell my wife, as she was laughing with my two children almost a stone’s throw away.
When she walked to me, I started with, “I am now the only son left…”
My brother James was vagrant heart, never an easy one to understand, but for a few years in my younger days, i felt i understood him. But in the recent times, we drifted away, just as flotsam away from the promenade i was standing on when i heard the news.
“Live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse”
i would often joke in morbid way to my friends. But in light of this, it only seem a ironic reality far away in the reserves of our collective consciousness. “Blood is thicker than water“, they always say, but life is often always more complicated than two substances for an overused proverb.
Years ago, when i first heard ‘Face to Face’ by the band King James (more irony), i immediately knew it was the song that was to be played at my own funeral. But for my brother, i would gladly lend him the song, even if i was not there for it…
I remember all the good times
How we laughed
I treasure the memories – inside my heart
Did you know your time was through
Why did you have to be so sudden
And it hurts me to be apart
You were my friend
And it conforts me to know
This is not the end
I will always love you
Your memory will not fade away
We will be re-united on that glorious day
I thought i heard a familiar voice
I turned around but you weren’t there
Must have been the sound of the wind
My vision’s clouded now
I only see a poor reflection
But when morning comes
I’ll see your face again
Now we know in part
But then we’ll know even as we are known
I will prepare a place
And you will be with me where i am
I will always love you
Your memory will live in my heart
We will be re-united face to face
Rest in Peace, James, say hi to the angels and our forefathers, and our brothers of the chosen generation.
For my loyal friends who were anticipating some photos of my recent trip, i apologize for it, perhaps another day…
28 Comments
vincent
My condolences dude.
Pat
I had the privilege of knowing him for a short while some years back, when he bunked for a few nights at our SS2 house, and later as part of team no. 20 of of Kiwanis Treasure Hunt 2000.
Your brother was very intelligent, but at the same time quite inscrutable, with his own very unique view of the world. But beneath that there still lies someone with a tender heart, full of compassion.
I am sorry I didn’t have much to say to him when I met him last year, somehow the words just didn’t flow, just a few awkward exchanges.
James, you will be dearly missed.
yuin
My condolences.
Tiramisu
Hey Simon,
My condolences to you and your family.
thatjames
My deepest condolences, Simon. Only saw this after logging of GTalk. Didn’t realise. Sorry.
anjalispeaks
So sorry. Condolences to the whole family. Be strong, my bro!
Jason
Sorry to hear that. Condolences.
lilian
I am so sorry to know it happened so fast and while you were away. I guess it must be hard on your parents especially, take good care of them, ya? God bless.
Ken
Sincerest condolences from me, and my dad who also loves reading simontalks. Take care and God Bless all of you. I shall pray.
mott
My deepest deepest condolences.
Unladen Swallow
🙁
egghead
my deepest condolences to you and your family…
visithra
I Do Believe
by Jennifer Janiszewski
There is nothing i can do,
to make him come back
There are no words I can say,
that can replace he words you long to hear
There are no answer’s I can give,
that will satisfy your questions
There is not another soul I can introduce you to that will ever replace his
And, there is no love I can offer that will ever replace the love you shared
I can not promise your broken heart will ever be complete
I will not say it could have been worse
I will not deny it was a tragedy
I will not lie and tell you he will come back
He never really left
I do promise he hears you when you speak
I will say he loves you no matter the distance
I will not deny he is in a better place
And, I will not lie; he is waiting to greet you someday
He is every you step you take
He is in everything you do
He is the air you breathe
He is every beat of your heart
” He is like the wind. You can not see him…but you will always feel him”
My condolences god bless you and your family
Buaya69
Our condolences bro. Good part is he’s no longer suffering and he left a marked on everyone he touched. Take care.
Bob K
My deepest condolences ..
pelf
*sob*
My deepest sympathy..
Shan
Am very sad and sorry to read this. How awful. Poor you.
Sincere condolences to you and your family.
consuela
My deepest, deepest condolences to you and your family.
Sashi
My condolences, Simon.
mama23beas
My condolences, Simon.
ievitable
My condolences to you Simon. Maybe your brother RIP.
ievitable
Sorry
*typo
‘May your brother RIP’
zyrin
my condolences, simon. hang in there.
simon
thanks for all the messages, both here and via SMS. My family and i really appreciate the support.
Soo-Inn
Having gone through many major losses of my own I know the inadequacy of words for times like this.
There were times when I trusted neither emotions nor reason and just threw myself on a big God.
Feeling with you.
Bengbeng
This may b a bit late but I offer my condolences. I have lost so many people already and each time i tell myself I will feel less but it doesn’t.
For the time being, you will have to step into his shoes…b there for your parents more often, more caring, most important, present in their lives be it thru physical presence, or tel call
Sorry, I sound so direct, but I have been there 🙁
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